18 Years of Isolation, A Lifetime of Freedom (eBook)

Olga Bednarski (Autor)

eBook Download: EPUB

2024 | 1. Auflage
240 Seiten
Holistic Wellness Publishing (Verlag)
978-1-0681520-1-6 (ISBN)

Infos

Based on the author's personal journey as a compelling case study, this book explores how our minds become programmed, shaping our reality through ingrained beliefs, perceptions, ideas, and attitudes. These internal narratives often ensnare us in negative experiences and emotional turmoil, making true change feel out of reach, no matter how hard we strive, visualize, or meditate.

The book encourages readers to recognize the commonalities between their own lives and the author's, showing that despite different backgrounds, our struggles and stories are remarkably similar. The book is packed with practical tools to identify the mental software that hinders your progress, robs you of happiness, and blocks you from creating the life you deserve. It guides you towards a life of fulfillment, satisfaction, forgiveness, inner peace, and joy-transforming these qualities from fleeting glimpses into your everyday reality.

The time has come to lift the veil, unfasten the restrictive constraints you've carried for years, and step into your power to choose and design your life.

You are no longer a passive subject of your programming, endlessly running in the hamster wheel-you are the programmer.

Textauszug

Part 2: Change Your Mind: Change Your Destiny

By doing new things, such as meeting new people while staying fully present, I felt a reconnection beginning to mend, and life started to turn towards me. With each new experience, I felt less and less isolated.

Life was inviting me in now as I began to join the play of life, becoming a full participant on equal terms with others. I felt like I was returning to the point in my life where I should have been. Nothing significant happened to me in my teens except for accumulating emotional traumas I didn’t know how to handle. The supply of air was cut off, requiring serious repair and soul-searching to be restored and flowing again.

The damage was almost irreparable, but I repaired it. I reconnected with my authentic self, and life energy came rushing towards me (more on this in the pages to come). None of this would have happened if I hadn’t taken those initial steps. When you make one step towards life and show your commitment to change, life takes ten steps towards you. It can feel hard and confusing at first, like everything is falling apart, but this is how “the refurbishment” is carried out. It might look messy, but it won’t stay that way for long. The total refurbishment of your life is underway. Just hold on.

I feel that I am a part of it all and fully activated. I am willing to continue learning and reaching higher, moving on to the next level. The potential was always inside me, only suppressed. Now the floodgates are open, and it all comes rushing out, flooding me with a river of feelings and realizations.

The source of all human suffering, commonly known as “the human condition”, is separation. Separation originates from the suppression of our emotions, which is a learned and conditioned response. When a child learns to suppress their emotions, they become disconnected from their soul and are unable to hear themselves. They begin to collect negative experiences by acting unconsciously in life, knocking on all the wrong doors. No one opens the door, or if they do, they harm them. Negative events occur, but our soul remains the light, always on our side and guiding us to where we need to be.

When we eventually find our way back to ourselves and get in touch with our feelings, we begin to heal. The disconnection, or separation, is alike standing on a broken bridge. Emotionally damaged, you stay on one side of the bridge, staring down at the gap. The water is deep below, and you cannot cross. You must repair the bridge before you can continue the journey.

If the damage remains, you’re stuck, emotionally immature, and it’s practically impossible to live a truly fulfilling life. As a child (in an adult body), you seem to have no control over your life events. You remain subject to external forces as life continues to just happen to you. “Things just happen,” right? As you continue to blame, get angry and become defensive, life seems out of your hands. Paradoxically, it’s not entirely your fault either.

Essentially, “challenging” events or failures occur to teach us and make us notice when we are moving in the wrong direction, helping us change our course. Oftentimes, we are so unaware and blinded that even negative events are not enough to prompt us to notice and change. We still don’t get the message, but life and the soul will continue to push and knock, trying to warn us of the danger ahead. Sadly, the messages will get louder and louder until one day a fatal blow is delivered (such as a terminal illness), and we die emotionally and physically. This underscores the importance of reconnecting with hearing and understanding ourselves.

Life is a Battlefield: Inflated Ego and Being Special

I picked up numerous erroneous behavioural patterns from my parents, especially my father, who was the significant adult I looked up to the most. His philosophy was that “life is a struggle”, and this attitude was passed on to me. What else could I absorb from him when this was the only behaviour I witnessed? As children, until about the age of seven, we see our parents as gods—our ultimate role models.

On one occasion, I saw him leave a shop, and the shopkeeper ran out after him, shouting, totally hysterical and out of control. He must have said something extremely offensive to trigger such an intense emotional reaction. My father was, and still is, always suspicious of people, assuming they are out to get him and hurt him. His aggression is a form of protection; he displays an obnoxious, aggressive and emotionally volatile attitude, but inside, he is just a vulnerable and defenceless child who wasn’t loved enough by his mother. Now, his relationships with others reflect his relationship with himself.

The more he demanded from life, the harder it got for him. Instead of getting the message and changing his attitude towards life, he presses on with more aggression, blame, intolerance and impatience.

Building a loving and friendly relationship with life is akin to relating to someone you love and want to marry. You don’t go kicking this person in the face or hurling abuse. Instead, you treat them well, give gifts, kiss and hug. You speak kindly and show respect. You court the person, making them feel good towards you too. Life demands the same approach. Only then does it become kind and generous towards you, as many gurus explain in their books. Life is simple and wants to give us all we desire. There is no limit to the wishes we can have. All we need to do is ask and treat life kindly in return. Life is a mirror, reflecting our false perceptions, rotten attitudes and behaviours back to us. To change the reflection and your personal reality, you must start by changing your beliefs, attitudes and behaviours.

I was unconsciously emulating my father, and I had no idea what it meant to build a relationship with life, people, or even myself. I was self-centred and felt entitled, which made me weak and powerless. I placed demands on life and offered nothing in return. Everything is given only once you learn to appreciate, be humble, respectful and grateful for what you already have. What you appreciate appreciates. What you respect respects.

I grabbed life by the neck when it refused to swing between a victim and an aggressor mentality whenever things didn’t go my way. I hated myself to the point of wanting to end my life. I mistreated myself by placing unrealistic demands upon myself, trying to become superhuman. For example, I didn’t allow myself to relax, have a good night’s sleep, or just be, even when there was time and space to do so. As a result, I experienced perpetual tiredness, fatigue, skin breakouts, weight gain, poor concentration, and mental and emotional burnout—the full package.

In the same way, I related to people just like my father. I demanded respect and attention and resented them when none was shown.

I was a passive aggressor, and I received the same treatment in return. Just like my father, I didn’t see that I needed to change; instead, I believed the world needed to change for me. I blamed others, thinking they were inconsiderate and disrespectful. I expected the world to accommodate me and my demands. I was ungrateful and had no clue what building relationships truly meant. I craved attention, love and acceptance, but I chose the wrong ways to earn them because I didn’t know any better. I used brute force, demanding that life give me all the gifts I thought I deserved. Unconsciously, I lived according to my father’s script, as though he were acting through me all the time. It seems insane now, understanding exactly how it worked.

Only now do I clearly see why my life reached the point of near collapse, desperation and nothingness. Why everything seemed so difficult, no matter how hard I tried. Life simply reflected my approach to it, just like a mirror. In retrospect, all those years, I was fighting not with life but with myself and the delusional ideas I was guided by. It was a fight against myself and my ego, and nobody else.

To become life’s favourite and live much less stress and strain, I needed to do the exact opposite of what I had always done: build a loving, gentle, friendly relationship with it. I had to surrender all my weapons of brute force and control, and instead treat myself, people and life softly and lovingly, the way I always wanted to be treated. To receive love, one must first give love. I had to approach building a relationship as if I were courting a lover: gently, softly, patiently. Then, I saw how life showed its softer side to me. It showed me love and appreciation, providing me with all the good things I deserved. Life, in its material reality, is truly just a reflection of our inner metaphysical world—the world of our thoughts and emotions. Nothing less, nothing more. I see that clearly now.

If life seems too hard for you, and things don’t seem to work, stop and review your relationship with it honestly. Once you build a healthy relationship with life, once you stop fighting and kicking, your experiences will inevitably change for the better. You will feel an ease you have never experienced before. As you become loving and grateful, things will naturally magnetize to you, without any extra effort or strain on your part. Don’t just take my word for it—try it!

Specials are Unspecial: Unspecials are Special

I had an inflamed ego that overinflated over the years in response to the adverse events I faced. It began to grow during school. Having disconnected from myself, I became hypersensitive to even mild signs of mistreatment or disrespect, such as a funny look, an interruption, or being ignored.

My ego was emotionally volatile and vulnerable, making me take everything personally....

Produkt-Details

• Erscheint lt. Verlag: 23.9.2024
• Sprache: englisch
• Themenwelt: Literatur ► Biografien / Erfahrungsberichte
• Schlagworte: courage to change your life • female empowerment memoir • Healing from emotional trauma • inner child healing book • self-worth and authenticity • trauma-informed healing • women’s self-help inspiration
• ISBN-10: 1-0681520-1-X / 106815201X
• ISBN-13: 978-1-0681520-1-6 / 9781068152016