Not 'Him' Or 'Her'Supporting My Non-Binary Child (eBook)

A Guide to Puberty Blockers, Dead Names, Binders, Body Dysmorphia and Dysphoria, Top Surgery, and Telling Friends, Families, and Schools

Michelle Mann (Autor)

eBook Download: EPUB

2025 | 1. Auflage
77 Seiten
Publishdrive (Verlag)
978-0-00-071937-9 (ISBN)

Infos

Learn the best ways to support your non-binary child.

Do you have a non-binary child and want to learn about what your child is going through? Are you trying to be supportive but don't know where to start?

This book is the perfect guide to help you learn every aspect of transitioning, what it means to be a non-binary child, and being a supportive parent. In this book, you will:

Understand what it means to be a non-binary child and how to support your child's transition.

Learn how to ease yourself into using your child's new name and pronouns and how to change their name in the legal system.

Discover the adverse effects of body dysphoria and dysmorphia that your child may experience.

Discover how binders are used and how to shop for your non-binary child.

Understand all aspects of puberty blockers and top surgeries and their side effects.

Learn how to tell the world about your non-binary child and explain to them about your child's journey.

Discover all the non-binary terminologies and how to differentiate between them.

Find out all the information you need to understand your non-binary child's transition, so get your copy right now to get started.

Textauszug

Chapter 1: A Parent’s Intro to Non-Binary

Parenting is quite a learning curve and to have to deal with gender-related challenges with your child represents an entirely different set of challenges. If your child is still an infant, less than two years old, this might not be much of an issue, nor will it be that apparent. However, as time goes on and your child enters the phase where they are constructing their personality, character, and self-identity, you may come across things that seem inappropriate for your child’s gender, particularly in adolescence between the ages of 4 and 9 when they start to understand the world around them. Understanding how society constructs the concept of genders can become more apparent.

What Is Non-Binary?

In the past, genders were identified as either male or female. These are known as binary genders and you are born one or the other. In recent times the idea of genders has gone through a rather comprehensive range, and today, male and female genders are defined as two extremes in a range of possible genders. On one extreme, some men identify with what society and culture deem appropriate and even necessary for men. On the other end are women who feel similarly with the norms, values, processes, and ideologies that are classified as appropriate for women and females.

Between these two extremes lie several different genders where it is hard to draw a clear line whether gender adheres to the male or female side of the spectrum. More importantly, this doesn’t mean that the individual who lies somewhere in the middle of this scale will have different physical features than a man or woman. Even though the individual may biologically be a man, emotionally, intellectually, and in terms of their traits and characteristics, they may identify more comfortably with a female. Likewise, the same is true for women who feel deep down inside that they belong to a different gender.

It is very common for people who don’t feel comfortable associating themselves with a single gender to hear them say they feel trapped in the body they were born with. There are several examples of men and women who feel like they should have been born with a different gender. In many cases, they will go unnoticed because they dress appropriately for their gender on the outside, but internally, they aren’t comfortable with it.

As things have changed in freedom of expression and more people worldwide are paying more attention to the LGBT community, individuals who clash with their gender feel a bit more comfortable talking about this issue. Many government-run and non-governmental organizations are operating across the globe and trying to help people identify their gender and live a life that suits them.

What It Means for the Child to Define Themselves as Non-Binary

Different genders certainly have physical properties to them since men and women are born different in every regard. However, the concept of being a man or woman is not something that is set in stone. For instance, we have a general concept that little boys should be playing with cars and action figures while little girls should play with dolls, stuffed toys, and other feminine items. In reality, this has nothing to do with the physical gender itself. There is no reason why a girl wouldn’t enjoy playing with a car or a boy wouldn’t want to play with a stuffed toy. It is a strange concept because later on in life, boys grow up to do things considered feminine in the past, and girls might do things considered masculine. For instance, many professional barbers for men are men, though when a small boy wants to brush his doll’s hair or take care of his doll, much like his mother takes care of him, it is considered feminine behavior. Also, most professional chefs are also men. Again, this is something that is usually considered feminine in childhood and something that girls should be doing.

Even if we look at toy stores, we notice entire sections or entire floors are dedicated to specific genders. In the male section, you will notice some typical toys and a very apparent color scheme. On the contrary, in the girl’s section, there is almost nothing that you will find in the boy’s section, and again the color scheme for the toys and space is very different. In both cases, the colors, toys, and general atmosphere are built according to what society deems appropriate for that gender. In reality, a boy might like colors in the girl’s section while girls might enjoy the toys from the boy’s section.

Similarly, so many professions are taught that a specific gender will follow. However, today both genders are often playing a part in that industry. In some cases, the opposite gender is more prominent than the gender pursuing that line of work. So, to say something is inherently masculine or feminine is not entirely correct.

For a young child around the age of 5, it is not uncommon to be interested in things of the opposite gender. If you are parents to a boy and a girl, the siblings will eventually come across things each other plays with, and these might seem very interesting to them. Even though children’s media consumption today is significantly higher than previous generations, and they see everything society dictates about genders, they are drawn to it when they see it in real life. This might just be fun for some children because it is something they don’t usually have access to. For others, it is interesting because it’s funny to dress up like the other gender or play with things the other gender plays with. For young children, a toy is just a toy, and they are immune to the idea that a color is not appropriate for them because they are a boy or a girl. They enjoy all colors, and they enjoy all activities. The parents dictate what they should and should not be doing. Also, it is not the parent’s fault; after all, they too are a product of the same society.

In most cases, this will be a temporary fascination. However, it could grow into a more serious attachment to things not meant for that gender in others. In this process, the way parents handle their child is also crucial. For instance, if a girl is constantly attracted to toys meant for boys or wants to do things the boys of her age are doing and the parents are very strict and stop her from exploring this avenue, it can become a stronger desire for her. The fact that she isn’t allowed to do something or that something is wrong only makes her more interested as she is too young to understand social norms and culture. For children, everything is something they can explore and play with. Even for slightly older children around the age of 8 - 10, it can be quite difficult to understand the idea of gender.

For a child, expressing themselves through any avenue available is just a form of expression and nothing more. Restricting them from how they genuinely feel on the inside only confuses them further, and they will most likely resist. Until they can understand what it means to be a boy or a girl, it’s not possible to tell them otherwise. However, this does take us back to the discussion of how we define what masculine or feminine is.

How to Show Your Child Support During the Transition

It can be an extremely stressful time for the parent dealing with a child having problems identifying with a single gender. In some cases, this will be a very subtle and mild change, while it can be more apparent in other scenarios. Also, the age at which this happens makes a significant difference in the support you provide and the solutions you opt for.

When the child is very young, younger than 5, this is just an infatuation with things of the opposite gender. It is especially true for single-child homes because the child doesn’t have access to toys and things the opposite gender of the same age does. When they start going to school and interacting with both genders, they get a better understanding, and this drives their curiosity.

At this age, there is no harm in letting them do as they please and letting them explore the things that interest them, but in some situations, you do need to mark the line. For instance, if a child wants to dress a specific way. This scenario is less of an issue for girls who want to wear boy clothes but more of an issue when a boy wants to dress like a female Disney character. If they learn that it is okay to wear anything at this age, it might be almost impossible to change their minds when they’re older. While this is fine in the home, when the child has to go out, it will be challenging for them to deal with society.

In most cases, this infatuation with things of the other gender will wear off after puberty, though in some cases, it might not. Until then, your best option is to keep all channels of communication open with your child. You need to talk to your child about this matter in a way that they don’t feel as if they are doing something wrong or are being talked down on. The purpose is to guide them out of their difficulty rather than force them to choose one way. They will leave certain feelings unaddressed through force, and others will have to be suppressed. If the problems aren’t talked through and the differences in the child’s mind are not addressed, this problem will arise later in life. More importantly, it will be a much bigger problem and far more challenging to deal with if the issue isn’t settled properly and promptly. As long as the child is dependent on you, you can monitor their behavior, and they might even abide by your...

Produkt-Details

• Erscheint lt. Verlag: 28.1.2025
• Sprache: englisch
• Themenwelt: Literatur ► Biografien / Erfahrungsberichte
• ISBN-10: 0-00-071937-4 / 0000719374
• ISBN-13: 978-0-00-071937-9 / 9780000719379