Messy, Magnificent and Moving Forward (eBook)

A real woman's guide to life after 30 or 40ish

Belinda Nell (Autor)

eBook Download: EPUB

2025 | 1. Auflage
227 Seiten
Publishdrive (Verlag)
978-0-00-095770-2 (ISBN)

Infos

Messy, Magnificent, and Moving Forward: A Real Woman's Guide to Life After 30

Welcome to the Beautifully Broken Club, where Pinterest-perfect lives come to die and real life begins.

You're in the right place if you're hiding in the bathroom, eating chocolate, and questioning every life choice that led to this moment. This isn't your grandmother's self-help book - this is for women who've tried meditation apps and still want to throat-punch people in traffic.

We were told by 30, we'd have it all figured out: career, partner, finances, inner peace. Instead, many missed crucial life lessons that everyone else seemed to get. This refreshingly honest guide tackles the reality of being a woman over 30 when life doesn't go according to plan.

Written by certified life coach Belinda, this book covers career confusion, dating disasters, single motherhood, friendship audits, work-life integration, financial freedom, and the art of selective f*ck-giving. It's your official permission slip to be a work in progress at any age, change your mind about what you want, and take up space without apologising.

You're not behind in life. You're exactly where you must be to become who you're meant to be.

Textauszug

4

Chapter 2: Career Confusion and Other Expensive Mistakes

You hate your job.

Maybe you don’t hate it every day. Perhaps some days it’s just soul-crushing instead of life-ending. Maybe you tell yourself it’s “not that bad” while simultaneously planning your escape route whenever you’re stuck in another pointless meeting that could have been an email.

Or maybe you love your job but realise you picked a career that doesn’t pay enough to support the life you want. Or perhaps you’re successful in a field that no longer interests you. Or maybe you’re great at what you do but work for people who make you question your will to live.

Here’s the thing nobody tells you about careers: the path isn’t linear, the ladder is broken anyway, and the entire game changed while we were busy trying to play by the old rules.

The Career Confusion Stages

Stage 1: The Panic "

Oh God, I’m 35 and still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. Susan from high school is a VP, and I googled ‘careers for people who are good at nothing.’ Maybe I should have been a teacher like my mother suggested. Or a nurse. At least they help people. What do I even do? What are my skills? Am I good at anything? What if I’ve wasted the best years of my career in the wrong field?”

Stage 2: The Research Rabbit Hole

You take every personality test known to humanity. You’re an ENFP-Libra-Enneagram-7-Love-Language-Words-of-Affirmation who should be a life coach, event planner, marketing director, teacher, social worker, or professional dog walker. You read articles about “10 Signs You’re in the Wrong Career” and relate to all of them. You bookmark 47 different career change guides and make vision boards.

Stage 3: The Analysis Paralysis

You have seventeen different career ideas and can’t commit to any of them because what if you choose wrong AGAIN? What if you spend time and money on training for something that doesn’t work out? What if you take a pay cut and can’t afford your life? What if you’re too old to start over? What if, what if, what if…

Stage 4: The False Start

You make a change – maybe go back to school, start a side hustle, or take a new job – but it doesn’t feel like the magical transformation you expected. You wonder if you’re destined to be unsatisfied with work forever.

Stage 5: The Acceptance and Integration

You realise that maybe the goal isn’t finding your “one true calling.” Perhaps it’s finding work that doesn’t make you want to fake your own death, pays enough to support your actual life, and leaves you with enough energy to pursue the things that truly matter to you.

The Passion vs. Pay Reality Check

Can we please stop pretending that “follow your passion” is universal advice? Some of us are passionate about napping and online shopping. Some of us need the security of a steady salary even to consider our passions. And some of us are still figuring out our passions beyond surviving each day with our sanity intact.

The pressure to turn every hobby into a side hustle and every interest into a career has sucked the joy out of many things we used to love. Sometimes your job is just your job, and that’s okay.

The Passion Mythology Breakdown:

Myth #1: You should be passionate about your work

Reality: Passion often follows engagement, not the other way around. You might discover a passion for work you’re good at that provides value to others.

Myth #2: If you’re not passionate about your job, you’re wasting your life

Reality: Your job doesn’t have to be your entire identity or source of fulfilment. It can be the thing that funds your actual passions.

Myth #3: Following your passion guarantees success and happiness

Reality: The market doesn’t care about your passion. Success requires skill, timing, luck, and often the ability to do things you’re not passionate about.

Myth #4: You should know your life’s purpose by now

Reality: Many people have multiple purposes throughout their lives, and some people find purpose in being good humans rather than in specific careers.

The New Career Rules

Rule #1: Skills pay the bills; passion pays the soul

You don’t have to monetise everything you love. Sometimes your job funds your passions, and that’s perfectly fine. Your worth isn’t determined by how much you love Monday mornings.

Rule #2: Good enough is good enough

Your career doesn’t have to be your entire identity. It’s okay to have a job that’s just… a job. A job that pays well, doesn’t stress you out too much, and leaves you with energy for the rest of your life.

Rule #3: Pivot with purpose, not panic

Every career change doesn’t have to be a dramatic overhaul. Sometimes it’s about making your current situation better before jumping ship. Can you negotiate better conditions? Switch teams? Adjust your role?

Rule #4: Money matters, and that’s not shallow

Wanting financial security isn’t materialistic – it’s practical. You can’t pay your rent with passion or feed your kids with purpose. There’s nothing wrong with prioritising compensation.

Rule #5: Your career will probably have multiple chapters

The average person changes careers (not just jobs, but entire career fields) 5-7 times in their lifetime. This isn’t job-hopping; it’s adapting to a changing world and your growth.

The Career Clarity Exercise

Instead of asking “What’s my passion?” ask these more practical questions:

Values-Based Questions:

What kind of work environment brings out my best?

What types of problems do I enjoy solving?

What would I do if I knew I couldn’t fail?

What activities make me lose track of time?

What would 20-year-old me think is cool about my life now?

Practical Questions:

What’s my minimum acceptable income?

How much travel/overtime/stress am I willing to accept?

What benefits are non-negotiable for me?

Do I want to manage people or be an individual contributor?

Do I work better independently or as part of a team?

Life Integration Questions:

How does work need to fit with my other life priorities?

What season of life am I in, and what does that require from my career?

What trade-offs am I willing to make, and which ones am I not?

Memorable Quote to Live By:

“Your career is a marathon, not a sprint, and it’s okay to take water breaks, change your shoes, or even switch races entirely.”

The Side Hustle Reality

These days, everyone and their mother has a side hustle. Your barista is also a photographer, your yoga instructor sells essential oils, and your neighbour just launched a business making custom pet portraits.

The pressure to “diversify your income streams” is real, but let’s be honest: sometimes you barely have the energy to stream Netflix, let alone create multiple income streams.

Side Hustle Truths:

Not everyone needs a side hustle

Your side hustle doesn’t have to become your main hustle

It’s okay to start small (selling your kids’ outgrown clothes counts)

Burnout is real, and rest is productive

Some hobbies should stay hobbies

Questions to Ask Before Starting a Side Hustle:

Am I doing this because I want to or because I feel like I should?

Do I have the time and energy to do this well?

Will this add stress or reduce it?

What’s my realistic timeline and income expectations?

How will this affect my main job and personal life?

The Entrepreneurship Pressure

Somewhere along the way, having a traditional job became seen as “playing it safe” or “not having ambition.” The entrepreneurship pressure is real, but entrepreneurship isn’t for everyone, and that’s perfectly fine.

Entrepreneurship Realities:

Most businesses fail, and that’s not necessarily a reflection of your worth or abilities

Entrepreneurship often means less security, not more freedom

Being good at your job doesn’t automatically make you good at running a business

You can be innovative and creative within existing organisations

There’s honour in being good at your job, whatever that job is

Making Peace...

Produkt-Details

• Erscheint lt. Verlag: 5.7.2025
• Sprache: englisch
• Themenwelt: Wirtschaft
• ISBN-10: 0-00-095770-4 / 0000957704
• ISBN-13: 978-0-00-095770-2 / 9780000957702