Think Parenting (eBook)

Flourish

Heather Vardon (Autor)

eBook Download: EPUB

2025 | 1. Auflage
452 Seiten
Publishdrive (Verlag)
979-8-89860-148-5 (ISBN)

Infos

Think Parenting Series: Flourish

It's pure magic - unlock the 'why' behind your child's behavior and transform your family

Flourish is the second book in the Think Parenting Series, guiding parents from awareness to transformation. Building on the seeds planted in Bloom, this book helps you turn understanding into action - not just for your child, but for yourself as a parent. It's about breaking old patterns, nurturing connection, and creating lasting change across generations.

Every chapter is thoughtfully designed to help families flourish:

Textauszug

INFLATING YOUR CHILD’S EGO

Inflating Your Child’s Ego: The Trap of Praise

Seeing our children shine lights up the heart. Celebrating their growth is one of the sweetest parts of parenting. Excitement over their achievements feels natural, and it’s easy to get carried away. Sometimes, without even realizing it, that excitement becomes the main focus. We start measuring their value by what they do or accomplish.

We might call them “the best,” notice only their wins, or quietly hope their success reflects well on us. Those small phrases and moments can create a story in their mind: that their worth comes from achievement, that they need to be admired, or that they’re somehow above others. Children pick up on subtle messages at home, and those messages shape how they move through the world.

If love or attention only comes with achievement, children may start to believe they’re only good enough when things turn out right. Over time, they can struggle with humility, empathy, and healthy relationships because they’ve learned that being “the best” or standing out is what earns approval. Their focus shifts from understanding others, learning from mistakes, or enjoying the process, to constantly measuring themselves against expectations or peers. They may compete instead of collaborate, compare instead of connect, and worry more about how they appear than who they really are.

It happens so easily. We get caught up in their wins. We want them to succeed. We want to feel proud, and sometimes our excitement about their achievements becomes the main focus. Medals, grades, and applause can quietly start to feel like proof that we’re doing something right as parents. When that focus grows too strong, our children can end up carrying our dreams instead of discovering their own. They may begin to expect to be treated like a star ~ at school, with friends, or in everyday life ~ and miss out on learning the value of kindness, effort, and teamwork.

Pausing for a moment helps. Ask yourself: Am I celebrating my child for who they are, or for what it reflects about me? Just noticing this can change a lot. It’s a reminder that their worth doesn’t need to be earned ~ it’s already inside them. When love or praise only shows up with achievement, they can start believing they’re only “enough” when everything goes perfectly. Over time, that belief quietly shapes how they see themselves, how they measure success, and how they connect with others.

Focusing on confidence instead of just results gives our children a stronger foundation. When we notice effort, courage, curiosity, and kindness ~ not only what they achieve ~ we show them they can trust themselves. Confidence helps them keep going when things don’t go perfectly, stay grounded in who they are, and treat others with respect and care. It’s about raising children who feel steady in themselves, who don’t need constant praise to know they’re enough, and who carry that calm, steady strength into friendships, school, and life.

Ego vs. Confidence: Seeing the Difference

Ego and confidence might look similar at first, but they grow from very different roots.

Ego reacts. It compares, seeks approval, and fears being “less than.” It whispers, “I have to be the best to be okay.” Children whose ego is inflated may start expecting to always win, to be admired, or to have life revolve around them.

Confidence is quieter. It grows from trust in who they are, not what they do. Confidence says, “I know who I am, and I’m proud of how I show up.” Children who build confidence can handle setbacks, collaborate with others, and celebrate effort without needing the spotlight.

When we focus only on results, ego grows louder. When we notice effort, courage, kindness, and curiosity, confidence takes root. That confidence is grounded, humble, and sustainable ~ something that travels with them into adulthood.

Where Confidence Grows

Children bloom when they feel valued for simply being themselves. When we notice their effort, sit with them through disappointment, and talk about mistakes without shame, we teach them something lasting: You are worthy ~ no matter the outcome.

Shifting from performance to presence, from ego to authenticity, allows our children to grow into people who feel secure, compassionate, and grounded. They learn humility alongside confidence. They discover that their value comes from who they are, not from standing above others or being admired.

Every choice to act from care instead of comparison helps children grow steady and kind. They learn to handle challenges, relate to others with empathy, and trust themselves without needing to be the best. This quiet confidence sets the foundation for the kind of person they become ~ grounded, thoughtful, and capable of connecting with the world around them.

Activity:

Mirror vs. Pillar: Understanding Ego and Confidence

This activity helps children recognize the difference between ego and confidence and notice how each shows up in their own life.

1. Talk About It Together

Start by explaining it simply:

• Ego is like a mirror. It reflects what others think of you. When praise fades or someone else shines brighter, cracks appear. Ego can make you feel nervous, upset, or worried about being “less than.”
• Confidence is like a pillar. It comes from inside. It stands strong no matter what others say or do. Confidence feels calm, steady, and proud of effort, not just results.

You can give a small dialogue example to help them imagine it:

Parent: “Imagine you played a soccer game today. Someone else scored more goals than you. How does that make you feel?”

Child: “A little sad… maybe frustrated.”

Parent: “That feeling is like the mirror ~ it worries about being the best. Now imagine you remember you tried your hardest, helped your teammates, and learned a new move. How does that feel?”

Child: “Good! I’m proud of what I did.”

Parent: “That’s your pillar. Confidence grows when you focus on what you can control and how you show up.”

Give a real-life example they can relate to:

“Imagine you win a race. The mirror might make you feel amazing while everyone cheers, but sad if they don’t. The pillar makes you proud of trying your best, even if you come in second.”

2. Make Two Cards

Give your child two cards or sheets of paper and label them:

• Mirror (Ego)
• Pillar (Confidence)

Mirror (Ego) Examples:

• Bragging to be noticed
• Needing to win all the time
• Putting others down
• Hiding mistakes
• Feeling upset when not the best

Pillar (Confidence) Examples:

• Trying your best
• Encouraging others
• Owning mistakes and learning from them
• Feeling proud of effort, not just results
• Staying calm when things don’t go your way

3. Reflect Together

Talk about real-life moments: school, sports, or friendships. Ask:

• “When did you feel like the mirror?”
• “When did you feel like the pillar?”

Help them notice how it feels in their body and heart: tense, nervous, or upset for the mirror; calm, proud, or steady for the pillar. Point out that we all have mirror moments. The idea is to catch them and try choosing the pillar instead.

This activity is more than noticing ego and confidence. It’s about building character.

Food for Thought

This isn’t just about spotting ego or confidence ~ it’s about shaping who our children become. Choosing the pillar means standing tall with kindness, trusting themselves, and showing care instead of comparison.

Every time they choose confidence over ego, they grow inner strength. They learn to face challenges without fear, celebrate others without envy,...

Produkt-Details

• Erscheint lt. Verlag: 5.12.2025
• Sprache: englisch
• Themenwelt: Sachbuch/Ratgeber ► Gesundheit / Leben / Psychologie ► Familie / Erziehung
• ISBN-13: 979-8-89860-148-5 / 9798898601485