3 Words (eBook)

Powerful Words That Changed My Life Forever...

Stacy Ryan (Autor)

eBook Download: EPUB

2024 | 1. Auflage
124 Seiten
Stacy Ryan Author LLC (Verlag)
979-8-9898723-5-0 (ISBN)

Infos

The most gut-wrenching words I have ever heard were spoken to me in 2013 and then again to my husband in 2019: 'You Have Cancer.' Both times, our lives were just clicking along uneventfully, when out of the blue, some flu-like symptoms started. Then, a few days later we found ourselves in a cold and dreary patient room while the doctor sat down in front of us with sad eyes and quietly said those dreaded words. I am pretty sure they were prefaced with, 'I am sorry to share this news...,' but all I can remember is the echoing of those 3 Words that forever changed me. In this book, I will share what it was like hearing those words and how my husband and I processed it, managed it, and did everything we could to support each other. I will talk about how I truly believe I got cancer six years before my husband to better prepare me to cope with and care for him during the last year of his life.

I did Ironman at age 36, survived cancer at age 45, and became a widow at age 52. Now I am an author and podcaster, writing and talking about my life, love, and loss. I share my experiences and what I do to find purpose; if it helps even one person in this universe, then my heart will be full. I had the most amazing husband a girl could ask for; we had a fun and adventurous life for 30 years, filled with a ton of memories that make me smile. I have an incredible family, including twelve nieces and nephews who all have a special place in my heart (they told me I am vibrant, fearless, cool, outgoing, resilient, and thoughtful). I am also blessed with an abundance of the coolest friends on this planet. I enjoy being active - from cycling to yoga. I also enjoy just bumming around in my Jeep Wrangler with the top and doors off on a sunny day. But most of all, I truly live for spending time with my friends and family creating memories that will last a lifetime.

Textauszug

My cancer journey

On October 20, 2013, my brother and his wife joined us for what was my sister-in-law’s first Green Bay Packers’ game. They made the two-hour drive from their home earlier that morning. We tailgated for a few hours before the game – enjoying beverages, brats, and burgers, tossing a football, etc. – all while enjoying the fall weather. We wanted to ensure my sister-in-law had the whole Green Bay Packers’ tailgating experience.

We had fun at the game, then drove to our house where they would stay for the night. We all got into our comfy clothes to relax for the rest of the evening and watch some television. As we were casually sitting there, my brother looked at me and said, “Hey, why do you have a lump on your neck? That was not there earlier.” I looked at him with confusion and asked, “What are you talking about?” All three of them then stared at me with a little fear in their eyes. John cautiously said, “Stacy, you have a large lump on your neck. Go look in the mirror.”

I nonchalantly went to the bathroom to look in the mirror and, sure enough, there was a golf ball- sized lump on the left side of my neck. I came out of the bathroom and said something like, “Huh, that’s weird,” and more or less ignored it. I told them I would deal with it in the morning. I didn’t have any symptoms, so I wasn’t quite sure what to do.

Throughout the night, however, I started getting the chills, had a fever, and felt extremely ill, with flu-like symptoms. When we got up in the morning, I apologized to my brother and sister-in-law that I didn’t feel well and said I wasn’t up to going out for breakfast as initially planned. Then John adamantly said, “I will be taking her to the doctor. There’s definitely something not right.” They obviously understood, wished me luck, and headed home.

We called my primary care doctor’s office and got an appointment for later that morning. She did an exam and, based on her findings, said, “Well, Stacy, sometimes a lymph node shows up and then creates flu-like symptoms, which sounds like this is what it might be. I will prescribe steroid pills to help reduce the swelling of the lymph node, and hopefully in a few days the swelling goes down and you feel better.”

She proceeded to say, “However, if the lymph node doesn’t reduce in size by Wednesday, please call me. I will refer you to an ear, nose, and throat doctor. I want to stay on top of this, because it’s not like you to get sick, much less have a lymph node pop up.”

I called work to let them know I would be out of the office for a few days. I rested, drank fluids, and ate what I could stomach the next few days.

I woke up Wednesday bummed. The lump was the same size, and I still didn’t feel well. I called my doctor, and she immediately made an appointment for later that day with an ear, nose, and throat doctor. I called John at work, and he left early to take me to the exam.

The doctor examined me and basically said the same thing as my primary doctor. He said, “I don’t see anything alarming right now; if this doesn’t reduce in size by Friday, though, I will surgically remove it from your neck.”

My primary doctor and the ear, nose, and throat doctor were both genuinely kind and knowledgeable, and I trusted them. Neither one of them seemed overly concerned, so neither was I. I did what they told me; I continued to take the steroid pills, rested, drank lots of fluids, and ate.

Friday morning, I woke up feeling exactly the same, with the exact same size lump on my neck. I was once again really bummed. I called the doctor’s office, and next thing I knew, I was scheduled for surgery later that day for the doctor to remove my lump.

I called John. I said, “I guess I’m having surgery this afternoon, ugh.” He made sure he was home from work early to pick me up and take me to the hospital for my outpatient procedure. The doctor even stayed late that day just to do my surgery. He wanted to ensure I felt better sooner rather than later. I truly felt cared for from all aspects and, although bummed, was not worried.

I mentioned to the doctor that our 20th wedding anniversary was the following day, Saturday, October 26th. I said, “Doc, do you think I will be able to feel good enough to have at least one glass of wine to celebrate with my husband? This is not exactly how I envisioned our 20th wedding anniversary.” He smiled at us and said, “Yes, I think one glass of wine will be just fine as you celebrate this monumental moment in your life.”

I went into surgery and then into recovery, and I went home a few hours later with a non-attractive gauze wrapped around my neck to contain the bleeding from my surgery. Not what I envisioned I would look like on our 20th wedding anniversary.

We celebrated our anniversary on Saturday in a very low-key manner at home, with that one glass of wine. I was starting to feel better, as the flu-like symptoms were slowly disappearing throughout the weekend. I stayed home from work on Monday to recover one more day from my surgery and regain some strength back from being sick all week.

I went back to work on Tuesday, October 29. I caught up on things in my office for the majority of the day. People popped into my office throughout the day to check in on me to see how I was feeling, because being off work for a week was not typical for me.

I would casually say, “I feel great now. It’s weird because I had this lump on my neck, but they removed it, so it’s all good.” I couldn’t teach any fitness classes or even work out, per the doctor’s instructions, for a few more days. And even though I felt better, I listened to the doctor’s orders.

Around 2:00 p.m., I was in a meeting with another staff member in my office. My office phone rang. I peeked at the number, but I didn’t recognize it and let it go to voicemail. Within seconds, my cell phone rang. I glanced at it, and it was the same phone number, so I thought I should answer. It was the doctor who did my surgery.

He started off his conversation with an energetic tone, saying something like, “Stacy, how are you doing?” With enthusiasm and some laughter, I said, “Oh my gosh, I feel great, but don’t worry I am listening to your orders and not working out.” He said, “You are too funny, but yes, I am glad you’re feeling better and resting your body.”

Then, his voice changed to a somber, quieter, empathetic tone.

He said, “Stacy, I have some news I need to share with you and John, and I really don’t want to tell you over the phone, but we found cancer cells in your lymph node.” I froze as a tear flowed down my cheek. He continued to say, “I am wondering if you and John can come into my office this afternoon? I want to talk to both of you about this, in person.” I nodded my head as if he could see me, because I couldn’t speak. But somehow, with my crackly voice, I then mustered, “Yes.”

I hung up the phone and looked into the eyes of the beautiful girl sitting in my office, who was more than just a staff person; she is also a great friend. She looked scared as I blankly looked at her with tears flowing and my hands shaking. I softly said, “They found cancer cells?!” I said it as if it was a question, like “how is this happening to me?” She immediately got up to hug me tightly, and then I whispered, “I have to call John.”

She didn’t leave my side while I dialed his work number. He immediately answered. I barely got out the words, “They found cancer cells.” Without hesitation, I recall him saying, “I am on the way.” We both hung up with no more words.

The drive from his office to my office is typically forty minutes. He was there in thirty. While I waited for him, people that I care about, people who care about me, surrounded me in my office. They comforted me by simply putting their hands on my shoulders, letting me know I was not alone, as I stared into space with the tears still flowing and my hands still shaking, nodding my head back and forth, thinking, “No, this is not happening.”

John practically ran into my office at the YMCA and immediately helped me stand and grabbed me tightly, whispering in my ear that everything was going to be okay.

He grabbed my hand, and we walked to his car, leaving my car in the parking lot, and drove to our house. We had about 30 minutes to spare before we had to meet the doctor. He held my hand the entire way. We went into the house and sat on the couch; I just leaned into him and cried uncontrollably. Through my sniffles and my tears, I heard him sniffle, too. I looked up and saw a tear streaming down his cheek. I had never really seen him cry before. It’s not that he didn’t have emotion, but he was someone who helped everyone else and always held his emotions inside. To see his emotion externally in the form of a tear hurt me more than hearing the words that they had found cancer cells. My heart ached because he ached for me. At that moment, our love for each other, which was already perfect, amazing, and beautiful, went to a whole new level that is actually hard to put into words. I said, “Oh my gosh, honey, why are you crying?” fully knowing why he was but needing to say something. And he quietly answered, “I don’t want anything to happen to...

Produkt-Details

• Erscheint lt. Verlag: 4.10.2024
• Sprache: englisch
• Themenwelt: Sachbuch/Ratgeber ► Gesundheit / Leben / Psychologie ► Lebenshilfe / Lebensführung
• ISBN-13: 979-8-9898723-5-0 / 9798989872350