LESSON TWO
Are You Ready?
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Driving lessons can help after you have acknowledged there is no easier way to overcome the fear by avoiding scary contexts. A good start is to plan a systematic approach ahead of your practice sessions. To begin, we need to go back a few hours before the knock on your door—last night. How did you spend the night? Worried means you woke up earlier than normal, or did not fall asleep.
Some instructors may appear strange and intimidating. The question is, are you able to justify your discomforts with anything real about us. Otherwise, the obsessive thoughts are not where they should be, on your own abilities. Sometimes, the anticipation is the only impression necessary to prevent you from closing your eyes.
Just one more question. Why do you bite away the skin around your fingernails? Everyone says it does not hurt, yet it indicates a persistent conflict with something uncomfortable. Forget about that now, and stop hiding your hands. Keep them up on the steering wheel. Thank you.
As your instructor, I am interested in how to offer the help you want. Look this way. Notice the deep curiosity. In less than a minute, I am able to absorb almost everything from you. Here is something interesting: I can sense what you feel, see what you do, and make you believe in your own strengths and abilities. You want to know for sure if you have what it takes to manage the risks, pass the road test, and gain some independence.
Allow a recommendation… As you drive, please say whatever is on your mind. This dilemma is why we are here. Your eyes, they look tired, narrow, and tend to squint. At least you did not give up on the lesson after you got out of bed, nice to meet you, a genuine smile.
Are you prepared to drive? Here is how you will know when you are fit to get in the car and do it: Take a moment to reflect on how far you’ve come. Do not concentrate. Treat it like a glance in the mirror, a disturbing seen you drove by on the road. After you are finished with this lesson, you will feel a nice improvement in your confidence. This is not my first time, I am here to bring out your dormant potentials, and make you forget about the rest.
As straightforward as it sounds, you are ready to drive when you have made the decision to do so. There is nothing more to say, it is not a complicated science, you have to make one of the two choices. But this is not as simple as it appears. You have endured too much pain, frustration, and many nights of excessive self-analysis. There is no way to simplify those embattled emotions. This disorder has eroded a great deal of self-sufficiency. Congratulations on your tenacity to step up and take a chance. We can make exceptional use of confidence spawned from inspiration.
On average, most people remain fearful from three to twenty years. Their long struggle is a constant battle to balance the uncontrollable reactions and conflicts from being over sensitive to perceptions of threat. The most disturbing part is they know what is wrong, but no amount of grit has ever suppressed the urge to give up on their aspiration, and so the cycle goes on.
In fact, no degree of anxious feelings can represent the totality of who you are. A casual conversation about your emotions with a friend is enough to broil up a great deal of frustration. Honestly, some people do not understand. They are far too impatient. We both know these sensations do not reflect the person inside. Yet, they have set off some undesirable changes in your behavior. Have faith, we are here to bring closure to those feelings.
Ideally, had it been possible, we would be out in the car on a lesson right now. As it stands, your imagination is the place for a more reasonable personal transformation. We need to create some additional sensory pathways through knowledge, some excitement, and the displacement of all pessimistic thoughts. Additionally, we can accomplish this goal with sober methods.
Once you are finished with this book, you should be able to rationalize certain disorders with the fears of other people who have overcome them. Your fearfulness came from a combination of experience, family genetics, and the actions of someone else. In rare cases, a licensed driver steps away because the vehicle they are accustomed to is no longer available. An overly aggressive or dominant spouse can also suppress the other person’s desire to drive.
Do you remember when your apprehensiveness began? Most people do not. They can recall the events, but not the exact moment the uneasiness took hold. The only fact they can state for sure is how hard, they struggled to overcome the effects on their quality of life.
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Excessive worries sets up a duality within you. The fearfulness hides deep within your psyche. There, it waits for the opportune moment to lash out against your wishes. President Delano Roosevelt was correct when he said, “The only thing you have to fear is fear itself.” Anxiety is tenacious, and hates losses to a more rational mentality.
Whether you feel timid or have an uneasy state of mind makes no difference. They both create real dysfunctions, and contribute to other forms of stress. Many students have experienced fatigue from thoughts of unpleasant experiences, or a visit to a place where they had bad memories. In some cases, their own sensitivity triggered the tensions. These psychological disorders do not always reflect the kinds of aches most people would associate with an injury. Normal discomfort or pain heals in less than one month. Isolate the area, keep it clean, and allow the immune system to do its work.
Anxiety is the only affliction we can cure with a change in how we think about its source. Likewise, the way you feel about an automobile requires a change in perspective in order to shorten the distress and heal the mind. Medical intervention is sometimes necessary, but not for the occasional form in this discussion.
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At this stage, these words should have conveyed a softer more gentle approach on driving than you had before. To keep a spotlight on the objective, apply any knowledge you have gained to the situations you desire and want to change. This means whenever you are in the car, begin step-by-step to utilize your grasp on these observations. Before stepping in, stand up and stretch. You must do this without any constraints, regrets, or distractions. Because once you put this book down, there is only one more thing to do. Get in the car.
You probably know this, but let us repeat it anyway. The start has always been your greatest challenge to stop all subconscious reactions to fearful occurrences. It is what prevents most people from achieving what they are after.
Do you know what is easier than sticking to your desires? Quitting requires the least amount of sweat. Consider it a crutch for people who do not realize their full potential. Surrender does not demand a great deal of personal exertion. All you have to do is let your feelings regain possession of your will. When it happens, the focus is no longer on your goals, because your needs have taken priority.
Complete success at what you want demands a higher level of consciousness stamina. The endeavor requires careful considerations, a solid plan, your ability to do it, and then seeing everything come together in your vision. Once these arrangements are rooted in your mind, forge ahead with determination.
Have you ever met someone who recovered from a dependence on illegal substances? When you hear them speak about their ordeals, you immediately learn the definition of addiction. Addicts allow the drug to dominate their lives to the point of habitual reliance, despite all the negative consequences.
Chronic difficulties with important daily activities have their roots in a similar type of compulsion. Fear is not only a sensation. Its chemical construct is a real substance, which elicits undesired behaviors as drugs do. As an internal sedative, it depends on you for sustenance. Coming clean is a realization of whether the user needs the stimulant to balance the dopamine flow. On the contrary, everything you need is inside you. This conflict is a winnable battle, but you need the right strategy.
Nature does not thrive on uncertainties. She flows like a wave. Resistance against natural motion has consequences. Your inability to feel relaxed is worrisome because you have been going against the current. Reactions from fright give life to the fear through your thoughts.
Your feelings did not change by being hooked on anything. If you think about driving and never kneel down despite the pressure or situation, you will crush the nervousness.
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One month before I learned how to cook curried rice, I walked into a convenience store in search of basmati rice. For some reason, the woman at the register appeared distracted by my presence. Her eyes followed me from the moment I entered, and then she smiled when I met her gaze. Naïve, I figured, well, she is perfect for customer relations.
As I moved around the shelves, we made eye contact again. By this point, I had no idea what to think about the...