Brand You (eBook)

TheSalonGuy's Inspirational Memoir to Transform Your Life and Business

Stephen Marinaro (Autor)

eBook Download: EPUB

2018 | 1. Auflage
124 Seiten
Bookbaby (Verlag)
978-1-5439-2988-1 (ISBN)

Infos

With more than twenty years of experience as a hairstylist, Stephen Marinaro, a.k.a. TheSalonGuy, has built a brand that focuses on bringing beauty, inspiration, and entertainment to millions of people. Whether he is creating hair tutorials or chatting with stars on the red carpet, Stephen lives by his values of professionalism, respect, and passion for his work. Brand You takes an inspirational look at Stephen's life, delving into how he utilized his experiences in order to build himself and his brand-and how it's changed his life.

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With 20+ years of experience as a hairstylist, Stephen Marinaro, a.k.a. TheSalonGuy, has built a brand that focuses on bringing beauty, inspiration, and entertainment to millions of people. Whether he is creating hair tutorials or chatting with stars on the red carpet, Stephen lives by his values of professionalism, respect, and passion for his work. Brand You takes an inspirational look at Stephen's life, delving into how he utilized his experiences in order to build himself and his brand-and how it's changed his life. Brand You was written to inspire, motivate and help create a clear vision for those who are lost in their career path. The stories shared in Brand You explore Stephen's growth and journey to creating a successful brand.

Textauszug

CHAPTER 1

CHILDHOOD

I was born into this world shortly after my father shot himself in the head on the front lawn. It was my mother’s dream to have a son after having four girls. I learned this when I was about 10 years old, but we will get into this subject later in the book. There are still speculations and many unanswered questions when it comes to my biological parents. Because of my father taking his own life, my mother became very unstable and a rebel. This situation led to her neglecting me and not being able to properly care for me. From what I learned, some of the conditions she put me in were so bad that people had to call the police to take me out of them. I recall one to this day, which was being left in the car as a baby. Not just for a few minutes, but hours. The police came to question my mother and basically saved me from what would have been a very hard and troubled life.

I was taken to a foster home where I ended up under the care of Josephine Marinaro. She was a foster mother who had taken care of over 80 children—many of whom would sometimes leave after a few days. I was told that I was a cute baby (platinum blonde curls and blue eyes). My hair is long gone, but I still have those blue eyes. Josephine, my foster mom, could not let me go. She took it upon herself to adopt me. Believe me when I say that adoption back in the 1970s was much different than it is today. It took her almost six years to adopt me. The court system issued a long, drawn-out investigation, which still occasionally put me under my mother’s care. Josephine cared for me on a part-time basis.

I still cannot remember why the time was split up between them. There is not a whole lot that I can remember about my birth mother except that she had long, brown hair. I was in the backseat one time and I recall her driving. Some guy was in the passenger seat. He asked me where I wanted to go. I wanted to go to a local amusement park. I think I was about age 4 or 5. Another haunting moment was when I was taken to a large, blue building. I did not know what that was back then, but I always cried in terror when I saw it. Turns out it was the county building that dealt with adoptions and other cases. It was a very loud, busy, and scary environment for me. Those two things were all I could honestly remember from my first four to five years.

I also recall the exact day I had to go into court to decide who was going to be my mother. I was in second grade and was all dressed up in a suit and bow tie. Everyone in the class was confused as to where I was going. I said to go to be with my mom and get my name changed. I do not remember a lot from the actual court session except being taken into the judge’s chambers. He asked whom did I want to live with. Now before I share my answer, I want to give you some perspective on it. Josephine kept a diary of my visits with her and her journey during my adoption. It was very hard to read it, so I read it when I was much older. She would note things like: “Stephen was very quiet today. He seemed very sad and just not his happy, normal self.” “Stephen was in a very good mood today and wouldn’t stop smiling.” “Stephen cried all day and something seemed very off.” The different moods and conditions I was in varied from visit to visit. From these journal entries, it was obvious I was living in an unhealthy environment; however, I just cannot remember what went on.

So let’s go back to whom I chose. The judge asked me whom I wanted to live with, and I pointed to Josephine. I said, “Her.” The judge then ordered that Josephine was going to be my adopted mother and my name changed from Steven DeWoolf to Stephen Andrew Marinaro. Thus, I had carried the name DeWoolf till second grade. It was definitely a transition getting adjusted to my new last name, but this was now my family and a new life lay ahead of me.

Josephine, who I will refer to as my mother from now on, adopted me as a widow. She was also mother to my two sisters, Carmelyn and Mary Lu, and my brother, Pat. Mother was in her fifties when she adopted me so everyone in the family is much older than I am. People used to think that my sisters or brother were my parents, which used to make me mad.

Mother watched children for a living. She was pretty much a saint and was loved by many. Everyone called her by the name Aunt Jo. She was a tiny Italian woman, but she was as tough as General Patton. I do recall shortly after the adoption became official, my biological mom broke into the new house where I was living and grabbed me.

“She’s not your mother!” my biological mom declared. “I am—and I always will be!”

Mother got to her and immediately ushered out of the house—and that literally was the last time I saw my biological mother. She is still alive and can easily be reached; however, it is still a very tough topic and situation for me. As an adult, I still have haunting memories and feel fearful to meet her. I keep in touch with one of my biological sisters named Kim from time to time. She shared much of my biological mother’s side of the story—after all, there are always two sides to every story.

My adoption definitely had a huge impact on certain aspects of my life. Psychologists commonly say that your childhood, especially before the age of 8, builds the foundation for how you see the world in your adulthood. According to Ann Smith in the article, “Can Our Childhood Really Predict Our Future,” that was published by Psychology Today, “I am not a believer in the ‘blame-the-parents’ approach to life. I do believe that our childhood experiences, which include parents, combined with our own personalities, our reaction to siblings and peers, and the context of our lives send us off on a path with a particular set of beliefs and patterns that have a huge impact on our future relationships.”

I agree. Many people have childhood stories or memories that continue to affect their decision-making, choices of relationships, or emotional reactions to situations. It applies to me, especially in my choices of women that often reflect how Mother treated me. I know! Who the hell wants that? Yet relationships in particular are heavily influenced by childhood experiences and behavior modeled to you by the adults in your life. There is not a day that goes by where I do not think of my first six years, and even things that randomly pop up in my head. I could still meet my biological mother and maybe that would close some doors, but I still have not done it.

Many of my adult issues stem from my adoption. Sometimes the differences between you and your adopted family are so wide that as you grow older, these problems become even bigger—and can even cause depression. We all have our own personalities, characteristics, traits, attitudes, and gifts that make us unique and special. For me, as an adopted son, something about our differences seemed dramatically enhanced to me.

Don’t get me wrong. My family was very good to me. They gave me a great life. They rescued me from what could have been a tough, stressful, and unstable upbringing. I am grateful that I was looked after so well my whole life. Yet this does not imply we blended as one happy family without problems. As I just said, I am very different from my adopted family. They all have similar traits and genetic connections while I do not share those things.

Being adopted comes with many feelings and emotions that biological children often do not understand. As a result of inherent differences often based on biology, children of adoption sometimes experience feelings of detachment when it comes to their adopted families. I know that I at times felt strong feelings of detachment when it came to certain aspects about how I viewed life versus my family’s views and considerable differences in our personalities.

One of my biggest problems related to being adopted are my feelings of abandonment. After doing some research I learned those feelings are normal for adopted people. You just have to see it through my perspective: The one woman who was supposed to love and care for me was either sometimes around or running off, which led me to feeling abandoned and confused. Then came this other woman who was there for me and ended up adopting me, but she did not give birth to me. You cannot take away that connection a child has with his or her mother.

Despite any issues, I feel blessed to have grown up the way I did. The Marinaros are a hard-working Italian family. I was raised in an upscale, healthy, stable environment, but it was not without its drama. Yes, it was very interesting, and there was more drama than a reality TV show. The food, functions, funerals, and weddings were pretty much where we all saw each other (if you are Italian, you know exactly what I am talking about). I have so many fond memories of my family, cousins, and people I would see at family functions that always treated me as one of their own. Not everyone knows of my adoption. Here is the interesting thing about being from an Italian family. The connections are astounding. I can meet someone and somehow find out he or she is my cousin. I sometimes run into cousins I have not seen in 15 years or long-lost cousins I have never met. Funerals and weddings are great places to connect with these family members.

The best thing I learned from my adopted family was to have a strong work ethic. I learned about working and how sitting on your ass would get you...

Produkt-Details

• Erscheint lt. Verlag: 3.5.2018
• Sprache: englisch
• Themenwelt: Sachbuch/Ratgeber ► Beruf / Finanzen / Recht / Wirtschaft ► Bewerbung / Karriere
• ISBN-10: 1-5439-2988-5 / 1543929885
• ISBN-13: 978-1-5439-2988-1 / 9781543929881