Year in the Scheisse (eBook)

Getting to Know the Germans

Roger Boyes (Autor)

eBook Download: EPUB

2008 | 1. Auflage
240 Seiten
Summersdale Publishers Ltd (Verlag)
978-0-85765-294-2 (ISBN)

Infos

It was time, the editor told me, for a more modern approach to Germany... The three of us were the backbone of the British press corps. No clich about Germany left the country without us having given it our seal of approval.' Laugh-out-loud funny, this is the memorable story of an English journalist's adventures - including his encounters with women - as he tries to get to grip with the Germans. Facing bankruptcy, Roger is advised by his accountant to make use of a legal loophole: in Germany married couples have their tax bill halved. So the search is on for a German bride. Meanwhile his father, a former bomber pilot and war hero, is also in financial trouble and is threatening to move to Germany and sponge off his son. The combination of financial, romantic and parental crises sets in train a hilarious romp during which we discover more than we really wanted to about speed-dating and nudist beaches, the British media obsession with Adolf Hitler and how to cheat at the Berlin marathon, curry wurst and stuffed cabbage. Writing incisively and almost without prejudice, Roger Boyes describes the peculiarities of everyday life in Germany.

Textauszug

YOU LOOKING PALE The SMS pinged onto my tired mobile at the very moment that I entered Germany. 'Turn it off, please,' said the customs officer, a young man with iron-rimmed glasses, more poet than policeman in his soft features. My passport was curled at the edges like stale bread and so the officer had to type in my data rather than swipe it through the machine. He bit his tongue with concentration. The queue was growing impatient. He was a very slow poet. Often, these are the best. Ping! ? TELL HIM YOU DOCTOR 'I must ask you to switch off the phone,' said the officer, very firmly. 'I'm a doctor!' I lied, obeying my electronic orders. 'It says here you're a journalist.' Suddenly alert. 'Well. I'm both. Like, like, er, Chekhov.' 'Chekhov wrote for newspapers?' I nodded hard. Thinking: did he? 'That's why my phone has to stay on. Could be an emergency.' 'And is there one?' 'You could say so.' My emergency had a name: Harry. He had managed, probably through bribery, to gain access to a gallery overlooking the whole of the customs and luggage area. It was probably reserved for the anti-terror squad, entry limited to those with legally registered firearms and bulletproof vests. He waved to me as I passed from the increasingly confused poet-policeman to the luggage carousel which was burping and stop-starting like a drunk. 'Give me five minutes,' I mouthed to him, punching the air with an open, splayed hand. The trolleys, elegantly designed by an award-winning mobility-artist, proved to be useless. Each demanded a one euro coin before it could be unchained. As the plane had just landed from London, only the most thoroughly prepared passengers were able to load their luggage. An American rock band, three white-vested men with key chains round their necks, boxer shorts on display, cursed as they hoisted their guitars and sound systems off the conveyer belt. An Arab solved the luggage problem by handing his cases to his wife. No doubt he had a bad back. Everywhere, there was a huffing and puffing as non-eurozone passengers struggled to cope with entry to Germany. Carefully, I extracted a 15 Turkish lira coin and inserted it into the slot. Harry had first given me the tip and I used the coin, a perfect fit, every time I passed through Berlin airport. With luck the almost worthless Turkish coin would soon be buying me some preternaturally cheap cigarettes from a slot-machine.

Produkt-Details

• Sprache: englisch
• Themenwelt: Literatur ► Comic / Humor / Manga ► Humor / Satire
• Themenwelt: Sachbuch/Ratgeber
• Themenwelt: Reisen ► Reiseberichte
• ISBN-10: 0-85765-294-X / 085765294X
• ISBN-13: 978-0-85765-294-2 / 9780857652942