Sinner in the Choir (eBook)

“From the bright lights to the dark nights—and back again.”

Doug Hayden (Autor)

eBook Download: EPUB

2025
161 Seiten
Publishdrive (Verlag)
979-8-218-86030-1 (ISBN)

Infos

Sinner in the Choir is the unflinching life story of Doug Hayden - a hustler turned believer, a man who built and lost fortunes, who gambled away nearly everything except his will to rise again. From the bright lights of Las Vegas to the freight yards of America, Hayden traces a path marked by ambition, addiction, faith, and the relentless search for meaning in a world that rewards risk and punishes reflection.Raised on hard work and basketball glory, Hayden chased success the way he once chased a ball down the court - fast, fearless, and with something to prove. His story moves from record-breaking high school games to boardrooms and casinos, from love and family to the dark solitude of self-destruction. Along the way, he builds companies, burns bridges, and battles the quiet shame that hides behind a salesman's smile.This isn't a polished redemption tale - it's raw testimony. Sinner in the Choir lays bare the consequences of ego and excess while honoring the grace that comes from surviving them. Hayden writes with the clear-eyed honesty of a man who has seen both sides of luck, exposing the fragile line between sin and salvation.At its core, the book is about choices - the ones that define us, destroy us, and, if we're lucky, deliver us back to what matters most: family, faith, and forgiveness. Through every high and low, Hayden never stops wrestling with the question that haunts anyone who's lived hard and lost big: how do you make peace with the person you used to be?Candid, emotional, and deeply human, Sinner in the Choir is a story for anyone who's ever fallen short, looked in the mirror, and decided to start over.

Textauszug

Chapter One -Life's lessons from Las Vegas

"Hit me"….. I'd just split aces against a seven. $10,000 on the table, two little chips… one hand of blackjack. I was playing at Caesar’s Palace, so focused on the m oney, I don't remember if the dealer was a m an or women, pretty or ugly, black or white. I rem ember I pushed on the hand. I had won large amounts playing blackjack before, $18,000, $35,000, $55,000 -but I had never played with $5000 chips. I had crossed another line, not really a line, because the process is not linear. The darkside is tricky. It's more of a subtle spiral or a ride that seems to leave you almost in the same place you started, only a little worse off. "Color me up," I said to the dealer, showing no expression. Karma was one of my rulers. I had pulled pretty decent cards and did n't win on a bet I felt I should have, so I decided to take a break. Page 3 There are only a few ways you can get the type of money to bet $10,000 a hand. You can earn it, borrow it, or steal it. I was doing a combination of all three, while still t ippy toeing inside the legal system and not directly breaking any laws. I was on m y way to a $5.8 m illion bankruptcy. I owned a freight brokerage company that operated in the transportation industry. Any “ fidiot” (fucking idiot) that can drive a truck c an officially become a trucking company and hire more fidiots. You do not have to be brilliant to succeed in this industry and they have a loophole the size of Texas in the brokerage laws regarding receivables and payables. The broker receives the full pa yment, not just his commission. The cashflow comes pouring in. What's this got to do with blackjack? Everything, because this is how fucked up the trucking industry is. This is a gambler's dream! Example: You book 10 truckloads to the East Coast at $30 00 per load. Your commission on $30,000 may be $3500…. but you collect the whole $30,000 and then pay the trucks. I loved to brag to my poor college friends that I owned a $5 million brokerage, and I did, because $5 m illion in revenue came through my busi ness accounts. The reality was only $600,000 or $700,000 of that money was mine to spend. The rest I owed to the trucks. But….. it's all cashflow. There's no law or regulation that forces payment. No title company, holding company, financial intermediary . Can you see how a guy with weak faith can get in a little trouble? Page 4 Proximity to Vegas made everything even easier. I lived in Manhattan Beach, California. No traffic and I could be at LAX in fifteen minutes. I'd be in Vegas in an hour. I had the gambler's trifecta: access to cash, no faith, and plenty of time. It gets even better. My wife worked in my company. I knew where she was 8 to 5. She expected m e to be out entertaining. The trucking industry has more sales whores than Vegas & Atlant ic City combined. Most of the time my wife thought I was working. Some of the time I was. Vegas is satanically designed to perfection if your goal is trying to convince some guy on the dock with an eighth grade education (who happens to control $300,000 or $400,000 worth of freight) that he should choose your company. Vegas offers a lot of ways to help him make up his mind. What no one tells you is….. while you're corrupting him, you’re corrupting yourself. Page 5 I was introduced to Las Vegas in m y mid twenties, by the uncle of one of my best friends. He wanted to teach me the freight business. He was definitely one of Satan's agents. I was definitely ready to listen. The whole process works in a bizarre multilevel network marketing sort of way. Each infected person infects someone else. Most of the time it’s a process so gradual you don't realize the transition. Years later I would infect other people. "Let's fly to Las Vegas"…. He had his own Twin Engine Cessna, a red Ferrari, and loads of cash. And he wasn't cheap. Picked up every tab, loved to party. I was a decent looking single guy in my mid 20's. My penis was the center of my universe. The hunt for single women would be more fun in a city that never closed down. This guy was willing to cheat on his wife and I was willing to accept his explanation … She didn't understand how much sex he needed, the type of sex drive he had. I was on his side. Flying out of the private airport in Newport Beach, California, being picked up in a $100, 000 automobile seemed like I was making progress, moving forward on all the things I wanted in life. Vegas as a destination, was a playground, a reward, a tribute to my own personality. Here's a guy I considered rich and successful and he wanted to pal a round with me. I was too stupid to understand Satanic MLM (multi level marketing). I was being recruited! Page 6 People with no morals in business are on the constant lookout for people with weak faith. Every recruit to the downline brings with it the prom ise of more recruits. I was not only being entertained, I was slowly being corrupted, taking tiny steps, from the abstract to the concrete. I had never flown in a private plane to Vegas, much less been picked up in a Ferrari. At the time I only ha d $200 to gam ble, but I got to sit down with someone who brought a couple thousand. I watched him cash out $6000 at the end of the night. How easy it seem ed. Every drink was paid for. Dinner was not only fancy, it was everything and anything on the menu : lobster, champagne and Bananas Foster. I had just about made up my mind to go into business with this guy when he introduced the two large breasted deal closers -professional working girls. I had been to an Oriental massage parlor twice in Saginaw, M ichigan. I was an ex jock, right out of college, and wanted to try a $40 hand job. This was quite different. We had a suite at Maxim's and a room charge. The sex was unhurried, her mouth was velvet. Like everything else in this city, it was as much as you want, for as long as you can. This girl was paid for by a guy who professed to want me as a business partner. It was a point in my life where I could have gone a lot of different ways. It was a tough decision. I decided to let my penis make it. I sai d yes Vegas had slowly entered my bloodstream! Page 7 My early Vegas transition was mental, not physical. I was now going to make as much money as I could, as fast as I could. I was not going to have a banal existence. I wanted excitement. I wanted my dream car and my dream house. I wanted sex, sex and more sex. Vegas looks like it's the antidote for boredom. It's a city based on numbers, math and discipline; a paradox to what it seemed to be offering -chance, hope, ease and instant gratification. If your wallet forces you to drive to Vegas instead of fly you can look to your left when you cross the state line to see what I mean. Whiskey Petes’ parking lot will be loaded with large rigs and RV's. Truck drivers given free alcohol while trying to play math games involving quick addition. Midwesterners in their fifties, gambling, who now believe life is not about what they could become but about enjoying the time they had left. They see "winner pictures" of other people who look like themselves hol ding oversized checks and big smiles published in a variety of papers. Vegas represents the last hope, the only hope, they have of being rich. I understand that now, but the truth is I didn't even see those people then. It was all about me. Novelty play s such a large part in your early or mid twenties. Everything about Vegas was new and different. It puts all the sinners in one place, it puts everyone in the mood to sin and it doesn't close down. I shared the same belief system with thousands of others t hat I had the same judgement after being up for hours or partying for days. It is absolutely amazing what you can put your body through in your early twenties. The negative transformation is glacial in most cases. Years later I would look at pictures of m yself. How the fuck did I get that way?

Page 8 My new business partner showed me how to use Vegas as a tool. He reasoned, if I enjoyed this experience so would a lot of other men. "Just make sure you party with people who control a lot of business, ” "Make these people your friends.” I had gone into sales right out of college, been given a car and expense account. I was encouraged to take people to lunch, dinner and ball games. This didn't seem that different. Plus my new partner explained in glor ious detail, how I had been sodomized by…. "These people who claim to have great morals.” I had done all the work, they had made all the money. My first year in sales I went to work for a small plastics company. They had $20 million in revenue and they st uck me in a state that was owned by their competitor. I sold over $1 million in new business and was paid the grand sum of $15,000. He explained that it was time for me to "wake up." “Why do you think these other people are rich?” He would split everythi ng with me 50/50. If I sold a million dollars in brokerage sales at 15% that would be $75,000 and he promised that was just the tip of the iceberg. It was so informal, and it didn't seem like work. His training program -Vegas Values 101, was conducted per sonally. At other companies I had worked, I maybe saw the President once a year -maybe. This was hands on, from someone I perceived as rich and successful. Someone with a plane, a Ferrari, a condo in Park City and a million dollar home in Newport Beach. Page 9 He showed m e how to pretip. When we went to the Vegas shows, we never stood in line. Large lines would form early for popular shows and wind around the casino. We would gamble or party until show time and then be escorted right down front, to one of the best tables. "Sheep," he would say. "Your average person is treated like sheep.” It was am azing how a few black chips put in the right hands could change the whole show going experience. It just had to be done to the...

Produkt-Details

• Erscheint lt. Verlag: 12.11.2025
• Sprache: englisch
• Themenwelt: Literatur ► Biografien / Erfahrungsberichte
• Schlagworte: entrepreneur memoir • Faith and Personal Growth • gambling addiction recovery • resilience & reinvention • Risk • Transformation & redemption
• ISBN-13: 979-8-218-86030-1 / 9798218860301