JACK WEASEL - A COMPLICATED CAT (eBook)

Edward H. Guardado (Autor)

eBook Download: EPUB

2025 | 1. Auflage
226 Seiten
Bookbaby (Verlag)
979-8-3178-1980-4 (ISBN)

Infos

When the Ace Backward Corporation decides Tim Wallace needs help with running a warehouse department, they hire Jack-a sharp-tongued, wine-loving Maine Coon cat who walks, talks, and always gets the last word. What begins as workplace chaos soon spirals into a series of misadventures across wine country, where Jack's wit and schemes collide with a relentless dog detective and his determined client, Nana, who refuses to let her runaway cat live the high life. Jack Weasel - A Complicated Cat is a comic romp blending corporate satire, vineyard escapades, and the sharp claws of sardonic humor.

For three decades, Edward H. Guardado spent those years in corporate America in Supply Chain Management navigating the pitfalls associated with corporate life. There he dealt with human behavior from those on different levels of the ladder. This sentence should have earned him a doctorate in human psychology, which led him to the conclusion that people are just plain crazy. To relieve the pressures of work, he would make his way to the California wineries from Napa, the Central Coast and down to Temecula. There he dove into bottles of wine to escape the harsh truths of work awaiting him on Monday morning. In taking these escapist wine trips, he discovered he could identify the flavors, aromas, and characteristics of wine. The more he tasted, the better his palate became. But the short trips came to an end, and he was back to work by Monday. One last note: the absurdity and realism expressed in this book are not too far from the truth, so help us God.

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Jack Weasel isn't your ordinary housecat. A towering Maine Coon with a razor-sharp wit and an inflated resume, Jack makes no effort to hide his gift of speech in a world where society has learned to shrug off the existence of talking animals. Reinventing himself as a decorated veteran and university graduate, Jack maneuvers his way into the Ace Backward Corporation, where he's assigned as a floor supervisor supporting Tim Wallace, a weary lower manager on the verge of burnout. Tim knows Jack is, at heart, just a domestic cat with too much charisma for his own good-but that doesn't stop Jack from strutting across the warehouse floor like a furry mogul, prowling for mischief, comedy, and the occasional conquest. For Tim, Jack's presence is both a curse and a bizarre salvation. Between fending off corporate nonsense and cleaning up after Jack's antics, Tim finds himself reluctantly drawn into his companion's chaotic worldview. But when Jack's original owner, the sharp-eyed Nana, finally tracks him down, Jack is forced to make a choice: surrender to domestic life or chase the freedom he's convinced he deserves. His answer is obvious - escape. Jack flees into California wine country, where his flair for storytelling and self-promotion makes him the life of the vineyards. He charms two college women into joining him on a whirlwind tour of the coast, tasting fine vintages and leaving chaos in his wake. But the adventure is far from carefree. Hot on his trail is a relentless talking-dog detective, hired by Nana to bring Jack home at any cost. As the pursuit escalates, Jack must outwit both canine private detective and his determined client, all while dragging Tim deeper into a comic storm of wine-soaked escapades, professional pitfalls, and sardonic revelations about loyalty, freedom, and the absurdity of modern life. Jack Weasel A Complicated Cat is a comic romp that blends the vineyard wanderlust of Sideways, the irreverent workplace satire of Dilbert, and the anarchic energy of Calvin & Hobbes.

Textauszug

Chapter 2

A year ago, Tim had at one point insisted on and demanded support. He had asked that another supervisor be added to his department, which consisted of a hundred employees, mixed with full-time associates and temporary help. Associates, he thought. What a stupid title to place on workers. Most managers wanted to fire any associate they could get their hands on. He recalled a manager admonishing a new supervisor when they called an employee a worker. “They are not called workers. We call them associates because they are part of the production team!” Then, behind closed doors, this same manager wanted to fire every associate he could get his hands on—unless the associate was a female and flirted with him.

Tim was the supervisor of a million-square-foot warehouse for the Ace Backward Corporation, mistranslated from an Asian language. The Asian company was initially called The Accelerated Jack Woods Corporation, but because of an eager upstart at headquarters, it got mistranslated, and the new name stuck. Tim had been with the company for seven years, almost as many years as he’d been passed up for a promotion. Not that he had a lack of talent or drive, but it just never seemed to be his time. At least, that is what the managers would tell him at the awkward feedback session.

“Tim, you do a great job. But at this point, we need someone with more analytical skills. You have the people skills, but you need to work on your analytical skills.”

But then he’d get the opposite feedback the next time. “Tim, you do a great job. But at this point, we need someone with more people skills. You have the analytical skills, but you need to work on your people skills.”

On the last promotion, he was passed over for a supervisor named Fred Downing, who excelled at sycophancy — a true bootlicker. One of the warped and crusty old supervisors had nicknamed him Machine Gun Kelly. When he became nervous and had to act, he’d stutter erratically. Tim thought it was awful to mock Fred, but the other supervisors didn’t care; they just laughed at Fred behind his back.

To add to Tim’s career woes, he’d been stuck in a department by himself for over a year, a department that normally had two to three supervisors. It was a manager’s ploy to minimize labor costs until the department failed, or the supervisor cried foul. Uncharacteristically for Tim, he cried foul and demanded support from his manager. Upset that he would have to support Tim, the manager searched for someone outside of the company.

The manager in charge of hiring a new supervisor and Tim’s boss was Alfred Jones, a transplant from Brooklyn, New York. He spoke like and resembled a 1940s cabby character from an old black-and-white movie. He never wasted a chance to express his opinion and always talked and never listened. Alfred had a habit of popping a new breath mint every fifteen minutes. It rolled around in his mouth, causing spitballs to exit in rapid succession. Tim learned to evade the rounds coming his way like a true dodgeball professional.

A month had passed since Tim had insisted on more support. From his cubicle, he could see the entrance to the warehouse, a quarter of a mile away. He watched as Alfred, a grin on his face, high-stepped his way down the safety path, his eyes rapidly scanning from side to side to make sure he followed the designated pedestrian path and maintained a safe distance from the warehouse equipment in motion.

As he reached the safety of Tim’s cubical, Alfred said, “I’ve hired an f – guy to help you and the department.”

“You have?” said Tim as he sidestepped the spitballs headed his way.

“F – yes! He’s a badass who’ll be my boss someday.”

“Oh, really?”

“F – yes. This f – guy walks on water!”

“What?”

“Oh yeah! He was a manager at a small warehouse, and he also did some time in the Navy where he was a sergeant or something.”

“I don’t think they have sergeants in the Navy,” said Tim.

“Maybe they do, maybe they don’t, but I know this—you better watch out. He might just bypass both of us in the next promotions.”

Tim felt a little insecure at the news and wondered if he would now become a third-string player. But he knew he needed support in the department, so he said, “This is great news. When does he start?”

Alfred grinned as the mint in his mouth traveled over his tongue like a boat riding an enormous wave. “F – tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow? That’s fast?”

“You said you f – wanted help. I got you f – help!”

“But—”

“I don’t want to hear your f – complaining!”

“Does it sound like I’m complaining?”

“Tim, you are f – annoying. Get with it, will you? This guy shows up tomorrow. You better be f – prepared to level him up.”

“I’ll do my best.”

But Alfred was already heading back into the front office to his temperature-controlled climate, away from the associates he despised. Tim often wondered if he’d earned a minor at university in using the four-letter word. He was a master of its usage and delivery, mixing nouns, pronouns, adverbs, verbs, and anything else. One day, Alfred saw an associate performing a process and said to Tim, “Look at this f – guy. He’s f – pushing that f – cart all over the f – place going f – nowhere. You f – better get that f – under control, or I’ll f – fire you and f – face. You f – understand me?”

The next day, Tim sat in his cubicle, anticipating the help he so wanted. He resembled a captain on an old galleon, watching the horizon. He kept busy managing his department’s activities while monitoring the entry doors to the warehouse.

Then he saw Alfred walking down the walkway toward him. He could see the new hire, and from that distance, he appeared to be around five feet six inches tall. The warehouse wasn’t cold enough for a fur coat, but the new hire wore one under his clothing. The workers on their powered equipment honked their horns as Alfred and the new supervisor passed, their way of signaling to all the associates that something curious and funny was headed deep into the warehouse.

When Alfred arrived, Tim couldn’t take his eyes off the new supervisor. He stood there staring, unable to hide the odd expression on his face.

Alfred stepped forward. “Tim, let me introduce you to the newest leader in our facility. His name is Jack Weasel.”

In front of Tim stood the biggest domestic cat he’d ever seen. But not an ordinary cat. This monster of a feline stood on its hind legs and walked semi bipedal. And if that wasn’t strange enough, someone had dressed the cat in a navy Polo shirt with tan dockers. Its face was covered in light gray fur with specks of white fur woven within the coat. Its ears were like a sphinx, big and pointy, with fur lining the edges all the way to the tip. He had two hypnotizing emerald – green eyes.

Alfred broke his trance. “Don’t just stand there. Take Jack’s hand and shake it.”

Tim took the cat’s paw, realizing that this cat was put together better than most of the current warehouse supervisors in operations. The awkward thing was the tail sticking out of the pants. It had been shaved up to four inches from the tip, where it mushroomed out into a big furball. Aside from that, it was a striking cat.

The cat grasped Tim’s hand in its paw and said, with a lisp, “Don’t worry, Tim. I just had my nails manicured. They’re not sharp.”

Jack’s paw seemed bigger than any mountain lion Tim had seen at the zoo. And now, this extraordinarily big feline was talking to him, and Tim knew his world was about to turn upside down.

“Alfred has said very good things about you, and I’m glad they are teaming us together.”

With some courage, Tim glanced over at Alfred. “Can I have a word with you in private?”

Alfred showed displeasure at the request. “Sure. I guess.”

As they walked away from the cat, Tim...

Produkt-Details

• Erscheint lt. Verlag: 15.10.2025
• Sprache: englisch
• Themenwelt: Literatur ► Comic / Humor / Manga
• ISBN-13: 979-8-3178-1980-4 / 9798317819804