Guided (eBook)

Lost Love, Hidden Realms, and the Open Road

Kirsten Throneberry (Autor)

eBook Download: EPUB

2025 | 1. Auflage
332 Seiten
Bookbaby (Verlag)
979-8-3509-9725-5 (ISBN)

Infos

On the eve of her 40th birthday, Kirsten, a happily married mother of two, receives an unsolicited message foretelling the collapse of her life as she knows it. This startling news is delivered by the unseen guides who have been with her for over 14 years. In the devastating aftermath of their prediction, these same guides return to offer Kirsten an unconventional path forward through her grief: a yearlong road trip around the country in an RV-something she has never owned, wanted, or even driven before. Though anxious and uncertain, she decides to heed their advice to sell her home and head out into the unknown in 300 square feet of living space with her two young sons, two large dogs, and one aging flower-child mother. On this wild and often harrowing journey, Kirsten discovers the true depths of her resilience and a way to finally reclaim her life.

Kirsten Throneberry is a psychotherapist and healer who lives in the Pacific Northwest with her beloved family. She adores spending time in nature, be it hiking, kayaking, or meditating at the base of a tree. When not exploring inner and outer terrains, she can be found completely immersed in her latest artistic endeavor, trying to figure out the workings of the universe, or making a smoothie.

Textauszug

CHAPTER 2

A MATERIAL GIRL IN A

NON-MATERIAL WORLD

Disappointment darkens the stranger’s face as he looks in my direction. Pretending our eyes haven’t already met, he scans the large, bustling room for other students that he may have missed. I wait for him to arrive at the conclusion I’ve already reached—that we were the slowest to choose partners. With an air of resignation, he trudges toward me.

“Hello. My name’s Burt,” he remarks flatly, extending his hand into the space between us.

“Hi, Burt. I’m Kirsten. Nice to meet you.”

I grab his hand and squeeze it firmly. My dad taught me the importance of a strong handshake, and many a man has commented on mine. It surprises them, given my petite frame. I use it when I want someone to take me more seriously, but if Burt is impressed, it doesn’t show.

“I guess we should find a spot,” he sighs, plodding past me toward a vacant patch of carpet in a room cleared of nearly all chairs.

The kindling of anger threatens to ignite in me, but just as quickly, I lose conviction. I suppose I’d make the same assumptions if I were Burt. I know I don’t look the part of a true spiritual seeker. My makeup is too heavy—most of the women here aren’t wearing any at all—the condition of my hair has been given far too much attention, and I am entirely too young at a mere twenty-five. Burt, on the other hand, is in his late forties, if I had to guess. He paid good money to come to this workshop, to awaken his inner knowing and connect with his guides and the acclaimed facilitator, Michael Harner, an anthropologist whose groundbreaking work has ushered in a new age of shamanism in the West. For Burt, I am an unfortunate obstacle on his path.

Burt and I are an island of silence within a sea of chatter. He’s not interested in small talk, at least not with me. He’s saving his energy for the important stuff.

Burt’s wrong, though. I am a spiritual seeker. Sort of. I mean, I’ve always believed in an unseen force much wiser and mightier than myself. While I refer to this force as the Universe rather than God, my sense is that these words mean roughly the same thing. But while I believe in this force, I’ve always had trouble connecting to it in an intimate way. It just feels so nebulous and unreachable. But the idea of personal guides is different, and I imagine that Burt and I are here for similar reasons, to cultivate a sustainable and reliable connection to this sort of otherworldly help—something our instructor has assured us that everyone can do.

“Now that you’ve found your partners, we will do a journey to practice divination,” Michael Harner calls to his fifty-odd students, striking the air with his padded drumstick in the same way a conductor would a baton.

Michael’s voice has the perfect blend of wisdom and playfulness—a quality that cannot be affected. It lends him credibility, and I’m instinctively ready to follow wherever he may lead.

“The reason I asked you to partner with someone you don’t already know is because divination is easier when working with strangers. When we’re already familiar with someone, we have preconceived notions about what they need or what’s best for them, which can cloud our interpretation of our guide’s message.”

I look over at Tara and Catherine, my friends who accompanied me on this three-day retreat. Both appear at ease with their partners.

“Being asked to divine information can feel daunting, I know. How can you possibly have anything relevant to say to someone you’ve just met? My suggestion is to let go of any expectations concerning the results. Instead, use this as a chance to learn more about how your guides communicate. This will take time and practice, so I would ask you to be gentle with yourselves.”

Michael is older than most of those gathered cross-legged on the floor around him. He and his wife sit in chairs, their legs not amenable to the pretzeling of youth. Wrinkles gather around the edges of his eyes when he smiles, which he frequently does. His beard shows his age, the color of his youth losing ground to the encroaching white. An Indiana-Jones-style hat adorns his head. His shirt is a long-sleeve button-down, usually an oppressive choice for the islands, but it’s December. It gets chilly in December—even here in Hawaii.

“First, you’ll need to come up with a question for your partner to ask on your behalf. Then, you’ll each journey, at the same time, for the answer to the other person’s question. Afterward, we’ll take a few minutes so that you can share and discuss what you were shown.”

After addressing a few concerns that arise in the group, Michael turns to talk with his wife. I enjoy watching them together. It’s a bond I hope to have created well before silver starts to flash in my hair. I’m curious if she comes with him to all of his workshops or if the chance to escape winter is what drew her here.

“Do you have your question?” Burt asks, unstirred by their love affair.

He sits a few feet in front of me, preoccupied and chewing on his lower lip.

“Well, so, I’m trying to decide between two guys—er—I mean, two potential relationships,” I correct myself, not wanting to come off as frivolous to Burt. “One lives on Oahu, where I live, and one is here in Maui.”

Did Burt just roll his eyes?

“Anyway,” I continue, beginning to flush, “I just don’t want to make a mistake. I mean, I like the guy on Oahu, but I’m not feeling those deep feelings for him. You know?” I ask, working to help Burt truly appreciate my dilemma.

Burt, however, does not look like “he knows.”

“The guy here is more exciting, but I’m worried he might be the same kinda jerk I’m usually drawn to.”

I want to stop talking now, but my mouth keeps on rambling—something it insists on doing when I’m nervous.

“It’s just, well, I came out of a bad relationship recently. He was horrible, cheating on me while swearing up and down that he wasn’t. When I finally caught them together, it was humiliating.”

Burt looks horrified. Not by my ex-boyfriend’s behavior, but because I’m sharing all this with him.

“I always end up getting hurt in these things…” I trail off. “Anyway, if your guides have any advice, I would appreciate it.”

I can tell by Burt’s expression that I’ve confirmed his first impressions of me. There’s a long pause.

“Um…well…I’ll do my best,” he answers.

Is that uncertainty I detect in his voice? Self-doubt, even? Part of me wants to enjoy his sudden lack of assuredness. But I can’t.

“Don’t worry, Burt. You’ll do fine. Remember, we’re just practicing. There’s no pressure on my end at all. Worst case scenario, I just end up with another loser,” I joke.

Burt laughs—his first of the day.

It feels satisfying to have made my aloof partner chuckle, but just as I think we might be making inroads, my small victory fades.

“So, my question is this,” he says, quickly shifting back to all-business mode, “I wanna know what I’m supposed to do with my life.”

What you’re supposed to do with your life? Really, Burt? How about the meaning of the Universe? Why not throw that in there, too?

“Any possibilities you’re deciding between?” I gulp, hoping for a small breadcrumb to follow.

“I’d rather keep my question open-ended so I don’t influence the answer,” he replies.

I study Burt for a moment, regretting my recent empathy. Though he obviously doubts the Universe’s willingness to deliver this important message through the likes of me, he is willing to risk it, regardless of any potential feelings of inadequacy I might incur.

At Michael’s cue, Burt and I lay on the floor alongside everyone else. Thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, Michael begins his familiar repetitive drumbeat. I’d later learn that this simplistic beat creates alpha and theta waves in our brains—the same ones that occur during meditation.

I take a few deep breaths, and the sounds around me fade. My body begins to relax. Moments pass, but nothing happens. A pang of anxiety bores through my tenuous equilibrium like a railroad spike pounding into a tie. I worry I’ll be the only one to lie here and have no experience or answer to the question I’ve been asked.

A few more deep breaths, and the entrance to my cave appears. I’ve journeyed less than six times, but this is where the inner vision always seems to begin. The opening to the tunnel lies at the back, my newly established route to the Lower Realms, which is a shamanic terrain that resembles the Earth but follows its own set of rules. This cave also doubles as a hot spring, one I visited a few years back in “real life” (or what Michael refers to as ordinary reality). In my mind’s eye,...

Produkt-Details

• Erscheint lt. Verlag: 14.3.2025
• Sprache: englisch
• Themenwelt: Literatur ► Biografien / Erfahrungsberichte
• ISBN-13: 979-8-3509-9725-5 / 9798350997255