Love Refracted In A Stream (eBook)

Christopher Kenneth Hanson (Autor)

eBook Download: EPUB

2023 | 1. Auflage
158 Seiten
Bookbaby (Verlag)
979-8-3509-0022-4 (ISBN)

Infos

The story examines the complexities of human emotion, mental health, and the search for connection and meaning in an often confusing and disconnected world. Other books of a similar nature might include: 'Catcher in the Rye' by J.D. Salinger - 'Perks of Being a Wallflower' by Stephen Chbosky - 'Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine' by Gail Honeyman - 'A Man Called Ove' by Fredrik Backman

---

A Love Refracted In A Stream is a first person fictional memoir that follows the experiences and somewhat unreliable observations of Crate concerning his life and especially his brother, Raynold. Crate delivers his disaffected account of their lives, recalling personal truths. observations and adventures within the cynical and callous world around him. And although he attempts to protect and care for his brother, Raynold, who is a schizophrenic, he can not prevent the inevitable suicide. As the narrative unfolds, it is clear Crate is actually losing part of himself, the brother he was protecting and cherishing was in fact, his own mental illness projected through delusions. Over the years, as he learned to accommodate and isolate this disease, Crate, in effect, was actually losing this part of himself, whom he had hallucinated as his brother. Despite these facts, he knows he still loves his brother and will miss him, even though, Crate himself had to slowly deconstruct Reynold over years and years and inevitably let him go.

Textauszug

Chapter 1

A love is a love is a love broken by known & unknown hearts whilst wading through the streams.

I call myself Crate now. Some folks will claim that Crate is a frivolous name. I don’t care any longer. I really don’t have time for those types of people anyway. Sometimes I dislike folks out of spite for how the world works in terms of their so-known scripted personalities. I’m afraid I’ve been let down by the world with its formulas and cycles that constantly seem to grind and churn generation after generation.

I could be wrong about the whole fabric of our social dynamic and the various social interactions between folks. I do feel that intelligence is waning more often than not. It appears there is a constant attack on truth, beauty, civility and sensitivity by callous and insipid people. I hope to the high heavens that I am mistaken about this. Further, there seems to be a profound disconnect in terms of sensitivity and intelligent perception as pertains to a variety of folks. I feel this is due to a reliance on hearsay and conjecture more often than not. Too many people may not realize this idea or simply do not care. I think the whole thing is horrific though. It’s often the powers that be which choose to help or hinder. All things being weighed, I feel accountability and justice are key components in preserving credibility for the most part. For the most part, I hope that we all win something at least some of the time. Those who do not win, may hopefully win in time. And by win, I mean here, achieve. All things being weighed, most folks have to wait long periods of time to achieve what they desire.

Perhaps this next thought is a bit off track. For example, I often wonder how many homeless folks there are in the world. In terms of ever-traveling folk, folks without friends and family or with no place to call home. When I think of them, I feel uneasy and concerned. I feel uneasy because I’d like to organize a plan to help save them somehow and I don’t think I am able to do so. But if I had my way, I would be one of the indispensable ones that helps those in need. Some folks are homeless because of unfortunate events in life. Some are travelers, bound to explore. Many times homeless folks are down on their luck and they have no one to trust I believe. A plan of help and support is needed in general and specific terms for everyone in my estimation. Everyone would benefit from some form of help.

In terms of social dynamics in general, I feel that the system may lean towards corruption more often than not and that an occluded power complex stays compounded at top. The top. I guess I don’t really get it. I often feel that there is not much I can do about the situation. The lobbyists or what have you, will serve to persuade many politicians into passing this or not passing that. It’s a cynical game up there full of pockets that scream out to be lined with cash. There are people who are attempting to be leaders that can’t lead folks out of anything. I hope when all is said and done that accountability stays a top priority. I hope that when all is settled, we still have all our freedoms at the end of the day. Some will say: it’s the thought that counts. I hope to the high heavens that my thought on the matter counts for something here.

Then there are the profound evils of our world. The dictators and terrorists of the world or what have you. These types love greed and power more than anything else I’d say. I hate them, I really do.

I guess I would say I hate their nature and their so-called act. And hate is a loaded word, best reserved for the veritable soulless creeps I would assert. They should at least understand that they are manipulating people through their petty guise. Maybe they know they’re acting like fetid monstrosities and they don’t care. That’s what I really feel sour about.

I just feel things in general could operate on a more beneficial level for most people. There are people who do not get their fair shake so to speak. And some folks claim that it’s just life though. That you can’t do anything about it. I hope to the high heavens that somebody would do something about it as soon as possible. Perhaps a heartfelt group of individuals will ever-heal us someday. Like a group of superheroes coming from afar to relieve all concerns. Perhaps this can only be a fantasy. I can only hope that it becomes reality.

Now that I think about it, I’m often lonely. I don’t have many friends. And those who would call me a friend, likely don’t know me that well. There are some exceptions of course. For example, when I was in elementary school, there was a teacher who liked to talk with me. Her name was Mrs. Beagles. She was the kind of teacher you would want to spend hours listening to. And when she wrote me handwritten notes they would start from the top corner of the page and meander across the page in the shape of a kite or sideways pyramid.

In middle school, I kept to myself for the most part. I read outside during recess near the large oak trees that were situated around the athletic field. Most of the other kids played sports. I didn’t like sports for the most part. And for the most part, I still don’t enjoy sports and games.

In all due respect, I am opposed to competition even in terms of a game type context. But far be it from me to judge anything like this or that. I have opinions, they are what they are.

More often than not, I try to focus on more positive judgments and more progressive ways of thinking. That being noted, I am a homebody mostly. I try to avoid social gatherings for the most part. You can’t get me to sit in front of a television either. Not that they have anything to do with one another per se. It’s just that televisions are a waste of time. They serve to distract folks from what they really should be doing.

The idea of a television from an invention standpoint is enticing. The idea that televisions have something to do with various tubes and chemical reactions behind the screen, including the various signal processing is intriguing. Not knowing the specifics, I will need to conduct more research. As far as a television is concerned, it’s all about what’s on the screen for most folks. These types of people are typically more concerned with which television programs to follow than how the television works the way it does. There are folks, it seems, who just want to be distracted and likely have cruddy lives. They really don’t care about what’s behind the curtain so to speak. Out of sight, out of mind- I guess.

My parents are fans of certain television programs. Their lives are not plain crud. They are directors who work with a network of scientists and inventors in a rotating think tank environment. My parents had commuted to the city daily. They typically sit around a large mahogany table and discuss what kind of projects are interesting to pursue. No joke.

One of their interests is to discuss what kind of creative projects should be funded and how to conduct them including what professionals to assign to a given project to make it work optimally. I’d also note that my parents are well meaning and were quite instrumental in helping me pursue whatever I set my mind to. I should add that I have faltered in terms of good behavior more often than not. And for the most part I still have issues. The issues are with a variety of themes which bubble up here and there. A lot of the issues I have stem from loneliness.

I hardly see my parents now. I don’t live with them any longer. I used to live with my brother, Raynold. I took care of him for the most part. Raynold had a mental illness. He battled with a disease called schizophrenia. Most people aren’t too familiar with it. It’s a real bastard of a disease in my view. You don’t know who you are more often than not and you don’t know how to function in a world which many of us take for granted. And the thing is, Raynold killed himself a couple of years back.

It’s not something mom and dad like to discuss. It’s not something I like to think about either to tell you honestly. Raynold painted these fantastic paintings though. I guess some people had called them outsider art works at the time. I don’t really care what the art is called per se.

It could be called crud art and I’d like it because of what I see in it ultimately. I guess you could say I’m a visual person too. Raynold certainly was. And he had talent and skill. I really think he was talented. I mean, he didn’t win any prizes or anything of that nature. However, he was gifted. That was obvious.

Raynold and I used to walk in the woods at times. But mostly I would walk alone and sit by the lake and read poetry during a good chunk of the day.

If I had my way I would live by that lake near the woods. I would just sit there for most of the day reading books, writing poems and listening to music. I like the woods because you can mostly be alone there. You can think and relax and no one will really disturb you.

Another thought I’ve been having lately involves acting and personality traits. Everyone acts, but not everyone is a good actor or so I think the saying goes. I suppose that I found this out the hard way through attempting to act on stage.

At one point I realized I couldn’t act how the director...

Produkt-Details

• Erscheint lt. Verlag: 19.4.2023
• Sprache: englisch
• Themenwelt: Literatur ► Romane / Erzählungen
• ISBN-13: 979-8-3509-0022-4 / 9798350900224