LOVE THAT KILLS! (eBook)

Inspired by A True Story

Cathy Lee (Autor)

eBook Download: EPUB

2020 | 1. Auflage
86 Seiten
Bookbaby (Verlag)
978-1-0983-0023-4 (ISBN)

Infos

Love that kills is a book which tells the story of a wife who's fighting to stay alive in a terrible relationship at the hands of her abusive husband. Once beautiful, vibrant, intelligent, and full of life, she's now an empty shell, barely able to think for herself. With nowhere to go and no one to turn to, she finds herself alone in this never-ending struggle to survive!

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Love that kills is a book which tells the story of a wife who's fighting to stay alive in a terrible relationship at the hands of her abusive husband. A husband who say's daily "e;I love you"e; to his wife, but shows nothing that closely resemble love. His actions are of hate and hostility. When he's not being loud and hostile towards his wife, he's giving her the silent treatment for days at a time. During the silent treatment he doesn't touch nor talk to her, treating her as if she's invisible. The mental anguish torment her. Once beautiful, vibrant, intelligent, and full of life, she's now an empty shell, barely able to think for herself. With nowhere to go and no one to turn to, she finds herself alone in this never-ending struggle to survive!

Textauszug

Warning Signs of Abuse

This routine of nightly arguments went on practically every night for the first five years of our marriage, all because Joe didn’t see anything wrong with what he was doing. Nothing I said to him made him stop the disrespectful behavior. Every time I confronted Joe, insisting he face up to the truth so that we could deal with the situation in an effort to work through it, he yelled “My ex-wife is the mother of my children, and we have to communicate that often for the sake of the children, so you need to just get over it!” However, rather than admit he was wrong, he resorted to falsely accusing me of all kinds of degrading things, always with fierce aggression.

Night after night, Joe and I argued intensely about the never-ending phone calls between him and his ex-wife. He attempted to justify the inappropriate calls, but his explanations were ridiculous. Becoming irate when I didn’t accept any of his excuses, he started accusing me of cheating on him—fiercely yelling, insisting I was nothing but a whore and a slut, warning me to get away from him. He even relayed a message to me from his ex-wife, telling him I had slept with just about every man in town.

I was crushed that Joe could say such horrendous things to me, but I still tried to persuade him that I had always been faithful to him. After spending more than an hour arguing, trying to convince Joe that I was not cheating on him, he shoved me out of his way, and stormed out of the room. A few minutes later, he came back into the room and half-heartedly apologized to me. I refused his apology and turned my back to him.

After a few more minutes of pacing the floor, he offered what seemed to be a genuine, heart-felt apology, humbling himself and pleading with me to hear him out. He admitted to me that he knew I was not cheating on him. He told me he was sorry he said all those awful things to me, and that he knew this was not about me, it was about him and his ex-wife. He reassured me that he didn’t want his ex-wife, because if he did, he could have had her, and that he chose to be with me. He then asked me to forgive him for allowing and engaging in the excessive phone calls with his ex-wife, adamantly professing his love and commitment to me.

I stood there in complete silence, Joe’s words ringing in my ears. After several minutes of deep, reflective thought, knowing perfectly well that I shouldn’t do it; I allowed his convincing words to persuade me to continue with our marriage.

Afterward, although Joe keep his word about limiting the phone calls between him and his ex-wife, unfortunately they were replaced with endless text messages and e-mails to his cell phone. Practically every day and every night, countless e-mail and text messages were exchanged between them. He even get out of our bed one night, around midnight, after receiving a text message from his ex-wife complaining that she couldn’t get their twelve-year-old son (When we first started dating his son was two years old)to go to bed. She wanted him to come to her home, an hour away, to make their son go to bed. Unbelievably, at midnight, he got up from our bed to oblige her.

While getting dressed, Joe was explaining to me why he had to make the trip to persuade his son to go to bed, and it was because his ex-wife said she couldn’t make him get off of the computer. She was afraid he might fall asleep in school the next day, affecting his grades; Joe couldn’t let that happen. He told me he knew this may sound foolish and senseless, but he was telling me the truth, promising there was nothing going on between he and his ex-wife, then walked out the door.

At that point, I knew Joe didn’t mean a word he said to me. Without doubt, I knew there was no way he could possibly want our marriage to work. But why was he still there with me? My instinct told me the only reason he was still here was to buy himself time to figure out a way to end our marriage without staining or tarnishing his own reputation in the local community.

I realized I had spent numerous years tolerating his insulting remarks and empty promises. I also realized I had spent numerous years suffering through his openly disrespectful behavior concerning his ex-wife. Indeed, I realized I should end our marriage, but I didn’t. Instead, I convinced myself that I had too many years invested in the marriage to give up. More importantly, my marriage to Joe was my fourth marriage. I just couldn’t let it end in another divorce.

Filing a fourth divorce is something I just was not able to grasp mentally. I was afraid people would stare at me wondering what was wrong with me and why I couldn’t keep a husband. The shame and ridicule I would receive from my family, friends, and co-workers was unbearable to think about. Besides, everyone who knew Joe thought he was the kindest person in the universe. No one would ever believe me if I told them I was leaving Joe because he had put me through years of abuse.

A prime example was happened after suffering more than ten years of abuse from Joe, I was so distraught and scared after one of his angry outbursts that I decided to inform twenty very close friends and family members via text message of how abusive he was to me. I revealed to them how often he exhibits violent, uncontrollable anger, and how he treated me whenever he got that way. I told them that each time he get like this he resorted to yelling, cursing, belittling, threatening, and telling me I should just get out. I briefly shared one incident with them of how he secretly wet for his gun after an argument. I told them of the danger I felt from staying in such an abusive relationship. I told them that if anything happened to me, please notify the police and tell them to formally question my husband.

Afterward, I was not surprised at all to see that, out of the twenty close friends and family members I reached out to, only three of them contacted me with genuine concern for my safety. Sixteen of them never contacted me at all. One of them contacted me back via text message with an angry rebuke, firmly expressing her disapproval and disappointment of me sharing my husband’s private issues with other people. She informed me that all of our private matters should be kept a secret in the home between me and my husband and admonished me to never do that again.

In addition, many of them even informed Joe that they received a text message from me falsely accusing him of abusing me, unwittingly exposing me to even more of his abusive behavior. To prevent that from ever happening again, I knew I could never mention Joe’s abuse to anyone else. Instead, I decided to suffer in silence at the hands of my verbally, mentally, and emotionally abusive husband for years to come.

Over the next few years, abusing me became normal behavior for my husband. One night, when he got home from work, he started an argument for no apparent reason at all. I was in our kitchen cooking dinner, looking forward to a nice evening with my husband. I finished cooking dinner, fixed his plate, and handed it to him. He took a few bites, then knocked the plate of food to the floor. My outraged husband immediately went on the warpath, shouting, “What is this? Do you call this food? You didn’t season any of the food right. What’s on your mind so much that you can’t season my food right? I work hard all day! Can’t I come home to a decent meal? I haven’t eaten all day, what am I supposed to eat now?”

As I picked up the plate, I told him that I seasoned the food the same way I always seasoned it, that I can’t seem to do anything right in his eyes anymore, and sternly asked him what was wrong with him. He called me worthless and pathetic, told me he doesn’t know why he put up with me, that I’m fat, out of shape, and look nothing like the woman he married, then told me to just leave! Although I was filled with resentment at how he was treating me, I told him I’m not leaving.

Outraged, he yelled, “I know you’re not leaving, and I know why! You only want me for my money! I should have never married you! You tricked me into marrying you! You knew I was vulnerable after my ex-wife and I split up, you took that opportunity to trap me!”

“Trap you?” I screamed “You sought after me Joe! I never went looking for you! I actually turned you down the first time you asked me out! I also turned you down for months when you first asked me to marry you! How can you possibly accuse me of trapping you?”

Becoming even more irate, he yelled, “You’re nothing without me! You can’t be trusted! Your friends and family think you don’t deserve a good man like me! They tell me I should leave you; get as far away from you as I possibly can, which is exactly what I intend to do!”

Tears welled up in my eyes; I stood there in utter shock! The sadness and disappointment I felt was extremely distressing. I couldn’t believe things had gotten to that point. I had no words to say. I excused myself and went to bed.

Day after day, for many more years, Joe subjected me to more and more of his mental, emotional, and verbal abuse. With each harsh word spoken to me, and each mind game I had to endure with him, not only did my resentment for him increase, my silent suffering greatly increased as well.

As I suffered abuse in silence month after month, I sank further and further into depression. Then it dawned on me: the past fifteen years of my life...

Produkt-Details

• Erscheint lt. Verlag: 31.1.2020
• Sprache: englisch
• Themenwelt: Literatur ► Comic / Humor / Manga
• ISBN-10: 1-0983-0023-8 / 1098300238
• ISBN-13: 978-1-0983-0023-4 / 9781098300234