Kick-Ass Kinda Girl (eBook)

A Memoir of Life, Love, And Caregiving

Kathi Koll (Autor)

eBook Download: EPUB

2018 | 1. Auflage
267 Seiten
Ward Publishing (Verlag)
978-1-7323649-1-2 (ISBN)

Infos

When her husband called on his way to the hospital, Kathi Koll had no idea how dramatically their lives would change, or how her loving heart and indomitable spirit would fight that change. Her journey from a life of adventure to a full-time caregiver, steeped in joy and humor, teaches us what it means to live in the moment and never lose hope.

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A Life of Love and Adventure-and LossWhen her husband, Don, called on his way to the hospital, Kathi Koll had no idea how dramatically their lives would change-or how her loving heart and indomitable spirit would fight it. From childhood, her life might have seemed charmed: play dates with Lucie Arnaz, real dates with a future TV idol, and a big brother engaged to film star Dolores Hart. But behind the scenes, her role as a caregiver began early. A mother dying of cancer, a father battling alcoholism, a brother with a debilitating disease, and a painful divorce threatened to tear her world apart. But then Kathi found Don Koll-her "e;knight."e; Like living a movie script, Don and Kathi sailed to far off places, solved a carjacking, and cracked jokes with the president. Their joie de vivre and unstoppable moxie made everything feel possible. Until Don woke up "e;locked in"e; after his catastrophic stroke. With unflinching honesty and humor, Kathi shares the realities of a life in uncharted territory as a full-time caregiver, from turning her home into a mobile hospital to the complications of intimacy. Her ability to share sorrows while laughing at herselfhelped her find a New Normal where she and Don could live each day to its fullest. Her journey, steeped in the joy of living in the moment, teaches us what it means to never lose hope for tomorrow-at the best of times and under the worst of circumstances.

Textauszug

PROLOGUE

“You’ve always had the power, my dear.
You just had to learn for yourself.”

—Glinda the Good Witch

My heart was heavy as I made my way through the rolling hills of Connecticut. So many memories of the two Dons who forever changed my life mingled with the weird sensation that I had just been here. Was it because that area never changes? Was it because time seemed to stop, and my last visit felt like it was just yesterday? When my trip began, my brother and my late husband weighed equally on my mind, but as I saw the timeless scenery, the connection to my brother Don became unmistakable. My husband, Don, and I shared many places and memories together, but this quiet spot in the hills of New England undeniably belonged to a love that had been a part of my life far longer.

In so many ways, I’m a seeker of things I don’t understand, but at the same time, I’m afraid to ask the questions that might help me find a meaning to the end. I have regretted not asking my brother Don more in-depth questions about his life. He wanted to share, but I was afraid to listen. He had a dimension that is hard to explain and a life enriched with the friendship of so many different types of people.

His unique love affair with the actress Dolores Hart seemed to have the recipe of “happily ever after,” but it wasn’t meant to be in the traditional sense. She was the love of his life and had always been part of my life from afar. For many years, he struggled through the sadness of his life’s direction without her in the traditional sense, but years later, I saw that he came to an understanding that their life was never meant to be as a married couple. I came to this conclusion while watching his interview about Dolores in the HBO special God is the Bigger Elvis after Don passed away.

He was so articulate in the interview, which sadly was the last he ever gave. He died unexpectedly shortly thereafter. The last scene shows him saying goodbye to Mother Dolores with a kiss, a promise to phone her, and an uneasy walk down the aisle of the chapel. Dolores had tears in her eyes as she clasped her hands together and pointed them towards the heavens. She told me that those tears were not acting, that she’d had a strong feeling it would be the last time she would ever see him. His imbalance walking out of the chapel in the last scene is difficult for me to watch even now. Don had neuropathy in his feet, an illness Dolores shared with him, and it caused him to stumble from the numbness and pain he felt. It was the cause of the fatal fall he took the following November. One of the saddest days of my life.

My brother met Dolores, an up-and-coming actress who was often labeled as “the next Grace Kelly,” when she was in her early twenties. Her long blonde hair and crystal-blue eyes sent men swooning. There was something special, something different about her that set her apart from so many starlets of the day—girls like Paula Prentiss, Yvette Mimieux, Connie Stevens. The story goes that on their first date, my brother fell head-over-heels for her and knew she was the one for him. He asked her to marry him that very night.

Their courtship was true Hollywood in every sense of the word but at the same time very real. They were a young, beautiful couple very much in love. I was in grammar school at the time, so I really didn’t recognize the celebrity of it all. Looking at the old movie magazine photos and stories of their courtship now, it looks like a fairy tale. My brother, in his thirties, tall, dark, and handsome. Dolores, breathtakingly beautiful with an innocence that made her even more appealing. Don never had any of these publications on display, but I found them in a box after he died. A treasure chest of memories and years gone by. Many people envied their life together, but the ending was not what most people would ever imagine. It was a true love story of kindred spirits and a personal closeness deep within their souls.

Don Robinson and Dolores Hart

My brother and Dolores included me in many aspects of their life. I was even lucky enough to visit the set of Where the Boys Are. The most vivid memory of that day was sitting on the steps of Dolores’ trailer when her co-star George Hamilton came up and sat next to me. He said, “Little girl, I’ve been admiring you all day, what’s your name?” I was smart enough at the time to realize that he was just being polite, and his real desire was to get to Dolores. In any event, it was pretty fun for an awkward fifth grader to be “admired” by one of the most handsome young actors of the day. I visited the set of St. Francis of Assisi, starring Brad Dillman (so handsome!) and Dolores, where my eyes were opened up to the backstage energy of movie making. I dreamed of being a movie star just like her. She was the first actress to kiss Elvis Presley onscreen. Not a bad legacy to have. A few years later, Elvis called my brother to tell him he wouldn’t be able to make his and Dolores’ wedding. He really wanted to be there but didn’t want to ruin their day with all the hoopla his attendance would bring.

Another vivid memory I have of Dolores was the evening of my piano recital. I was around seven or eight years old. My mom had invited her bridge club friends and their spouses to watch me, but when it came time for me to perform, I was MIA. I refused to get out of the car. I had performed the year before, but for some reason, this year I was scared to death. My mom had me dressed up in the dress I wore as little flower girl in the childhood actress Margaret O’Brien’s wedding. It was quite dressy and made out of a beautiful sari fabric from India spun with gold threads. I simply refused to get off the floor of the car. My poor mom was beside herself, especially since her friends were inside the auditorium having to listen to numerous other children playing their piano pieces. Children they didn’t even know. My brother asked Dolores to talk to me. She sat on the floor next to me and gently told me of the various times she had had stage fright when she was acting on Broadway. I listened politely to her stories, but in the end, when everyone thought she had succeeded in convincing me to perform, I curtly said, “no.” I never left the car, and the bridge club ladies left with my mom feeling so embarrassed that she had put them through such a challenging evening. That was the last piano recital I ever had to be in. Hallelujah!

After a lengthy courtship, my brother and Dolores chose a date for their wedding. Instead of an engagement ring, my brother gave Dolores a necklace with a heart of pearls signifying his love and her name. A few years later, that heart was given to me on my sixteenth birthday, and many years later, I gave it to my daughter, Brooke, on hers. There was a lot of excitement as the wedding neared. We all got together at actor Karl Malden’s home; his daughters were to be in the wedding with me, and it was an evening for all of us to meet. The other young girls were Colleen and Ellisa Lanza. Their father was the great tenor Mario Lanza, who was Dolores’ uncle on her mother’s side. The wedding dress was designed and being made by the famous Hollywood designer Edith Head from lace she had been saving for over twenty years for a special occasion. Imagine how many actresses must have envied Dolores when the news spread that she was the one Edith Head had chosen. The excitement was growing and parties were being thrown when all of a sudden something happened that changed the course of their lives.

According to my brother, Dolores received a letter from the Reverend Mother of the Abbey of Regina Laudis located in Bethlehem, Connecticut, accepting her into their community. She told my brother she had no intention of joining the Abbey, and he was convinced she would never pick it over a life with him. He was confident in his belief but felt Dolores should go there for a couple weeks for a retreat and sort out any feelings of doubt she might have deep down inside. He didn’t want her walking down the aisle with any uncertainties and was confident their future life was just around the corner.

“I was on Broadway in the production of The Pleasure of His Company with George Peppard the first time I went to the Abbey,” Dolores told me. “I had become extremely exhausted from the demands of performances day after day. A dear friend recommended I spend a weekend at the Abbey, but I didn’t want to go to a place with nuns. ‘It’s not like that,’ my friend insisted. ‘It’s a wonderful, peaceful place you can go to for a weekend and come back completely rested and ready for the lights of Broadway again.’ At that point, I was ready to try anything, so I spent the weekend. Towards the end of my stay, I felt something inside pulling at me that I really couldn’t put my finger on. It was like my inner self was telling me that this place was where I belonged. I felt a peacefulness I had never experienced. I wondered if it might be a calling from God. I shared my feelings with the Reverend Mother who quickly said, ‘No, no, Dolores. You’re a movie star. Go back to Broadway and be the actress you are.’ And it seemed at the time like that was where it would end.”

Only a few family members knew Dolores was off to her pre-wedding retreat. Halfway through, she called my brother and said it just wasn’t for her, but she would stick out the rest of...

Produkt-Details

• Erscheint lt. Verlag: 9.10.2018
• Sprache: englisch
• Themenwelt: Literatur ► Biografien / Erfahrungsberichte
• ISBN-10: 1-7323649-1-5 / 1732364915
• ISBN-13: 978-1-7323649-1-2 / 9781732364912