Vertical Marriage (eBook)

A Godward Preparation for Life Together

Anne Rizzo, Mike Rizzo (Autoren)

eBook Download: EPUB

2024 | 1. Auflage
184 Seiten
Bookbaby (Verlag)
979-8-3509-8952-6 (ISBN)

Infos

Marriage is one of the most significant commitments any person can make in this life. Amongst the myriad of preparations you can make, what is most important for a lasting, healthy relationship? Understanding that marriage is not eternal-but its fruit is-Mike and Anne Rizzo, seasoned marriage counselors, turn our gaze Godward. A vertical focus, on the Creator of marriage, becomes the best foundation for building a beautiful, life-long bond with your future spouse.

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Marriage is one of the most significant commitments any person can make in this life. Amongst the myriad of preparations you can make, what is most important for a lasting, healthy relationship? Understanding that marriage is not eternal-but itsfruit is Mike and Anne Rizzo, seasoned marriage counselors, turn our gaze Godward. A vertical focus, on the Creator of marriage, becomes the best foundation for building a beautiful, life-long bond with your future spouse. How does Scripture's bridal paradigm play into your daily relationship, and what is the ultimate goal of your union? Practical and visionary, Vertical Marriage will help you evaluate your relationship, establish a marital vision, understand God's uniquedesign for your marriage and future, and set expectations for the nitty-gritty details of life together. For use with a marriage counselor or independently, Vertical Marriage is a premarital manual designed for engaged couples and those alreadymarried who desire to establish a powerful partnership of eternal significance. "e;Vertical Marriage is a weighty, no-holds-barred approach to get your marriage started on the right spiritual footing. Wise and spiritually penetrating . . . highly recommended, especially for serious believers."e; Gary Thomas, Author of Sacred Marriage and The Sacred Search"e;A powerful blueprint for a beautiful union that will help any couple, young or old, to revive their perspective on deep partnership and worship."e; Sara Hagerty, Author of Every Bitter Thing is Sweet"e;Mike and Anne have crafted a tremendous tool to help you navigate your courtship skillfully. Their wisdom will prepare you for a loving marriage filled with joy and hope with Jesus at the center. I recommend this one highly!"e; Bob Sorge, Author of Secrets of the Secret Place

Textauszug

1

Covenant or Contract

Anne

It goes without saying — but I will say it anyway — the pervasive culture in the world is far from godly and seems to grow more godless every day. Marriage between a man and a woman is no longer considered the only kind of marriage, and the view of Christian marriage, in some circles, grows increasingly hostile. It is a challenge to navigate these marriage waters.

One aspect of our culture is affecting Christian marriages at an alarming rate — the misconception that marriage is a contract. Allow us to challenge you to consider and pray about having a truly biblical perspective on this subject. Our hope is not only to make you aware of this cultural pitfall but also to give you a vision of God’s heart concerning your marriage.

What Types of Marriages Have You Seen?

In this broken generation I can only imagine the marriages that you have observed. Divorce and abandonment leading to fatherlessness are so common in our culture. God created us to be loved and cared for in a family. Those who grew up without this may be driven to look for love pretty much wherever they can find it. The cycle repeats itself, as this leads to further pain and brokenness. Perhaps you have been blessed to be one of the few who had parents with a God-focused marriage. In any case, the subject we are about to discuss is vital because your future marriage will reap the fruit of what your heart believes about this institution of marriage.

Let’s delve a little bit into the subject of covenant vs. contract. Everyone has some idea of what a contract is. We make an agreement and sign a paper to prove it. Yet, we also accept that legal contracts are frequently broken. Unfortunately, this thinking has also found its way into the realm of Christian marriage. What we must realize is that marriage is not a contract but a covenant!

How Does God See Marriage?

God created marriage and to Him, marriage is sacred. In Malachi 2:14 He makes clear that those who marry enter into a covenant.

“The Lord has been witness between you and the wife of your youth . . . she is your companion and your wife by covenant.”

A covenant is “a written agreement or promise usually under seal between two or more parties especially for the performance of some action.”1 This prevalent cultural view of covenant reduces it to the level of a contract and does not truly represent the essence of covenant; it is viewed as merely legal and therefore can be dissolved by law.

Andreas Kostenberger, in his article “The Bible’s Teaching on Marriage and Family,” gives us a biblical definition of covenant (specifically the marriage covenant):

A covenant is a contract between two parties that is established before God as a witness, a contract whose permanence is ultimately safeguarded by none other than God himself. In this sense, marriage is a covenant: it is entered into by the husband and the wife before God as a witness. Because it is ultimately God who has joined the marriage partners together, the husband and the wife vow to each other abiding loyalty and fidelity “till death do us part.”2

We learn here that the two elements of covenant that distinguish it from a contract are permanence and the Chief Witness, God, who has designed that marriage is for life. Soon-to-be bride, you have chosen a dear friend to share your joy by being your witness on your wedding day. Soon-to-be groom, you have done the same. These who know and love you will sign your marriage license indicating that they have witnessed you taking your wedding vows. However, Christian weddings have an even more important Witness present; He is the Chief Witness. Even though your friends will witness your wedding and sign the license, it is He, not they, who will hold you to your vows. In other words, although legal, a marriage union is profoundly spiritual — God is the witness of its establishment, and it is He alone who joins you together. He is also the One who expects believers to be vigilant to see their marriage covenant maintained.

It comes as no surprise that God’s view of marriage is diametrically opposed to our culture’s view. It is truly He, not any man, who joins the couple together: “Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate” (Mk. 10:9). In other words, it was not man who joined the couple and therefore no man (or woman) can separate them. Marriage includes not only the couple who marry but also the God who unites them. A husband and wife who are believers make a commitment to view their marriage as part of God’s design for their entire lives. Again, the decided difference between marriage viewed as a contract and marriage viewed as a covenant is the attitude toward permanency.

For you who are soon to marry, it is vital that you gain the heart revelation needed for permanency in your marriage. (We will discuss this in more detail in Chapter 4: Marital Vision.)

It is often said that the divorce rate in the church today is around 50 percent, or “the same as outside the church.” Is this really the state of Christian marriage today? It is hard to determine. Studies yield widely different results, depending on what segment of the church is the subject. While the highest percentages are not accurate, in our experience, both personally and in the counseling room, neither are the lowest ones. For years, we have known many who have been divorced — and I venture to say that this may be your unfortunate experience as well. Although statistics may not be able to accurately ascertain the true state of marriage in the church today, one thing is sure. Malachi 2:16 tells us: “For the LORD God of Israel says that He hates divorce, for it covers one’s garment with violence.”

No matter how many Christians you may know who are divorced, you are about to enter into a covenant that is not to be broken. By His grace, never allow yourself to give consideration to divorce. Our desire is to see Christian marriages become so strong that their brightness shines out to those who do not know Christ. Ephesians 5:25 says, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church” (ESV). Marriage is a picture of God’s love for us. God’s heart is that Christian marriages become such a testimony to the world that the world turns to the church to discover its secret — the love, forgiveness, and grace of God.

I want to alert you to a truth that the Lord spoke to my heart: one Christian married to another Christian will not automatically mean that their marriage will be a Christ-centered one. Many Christians marry believing this to be true. The sad fact is that Christian marriages are failing because the marriage is not a Christ-centered one.

The single most important key to safeguarding and strengthening your marriage lies in each of you having a vital relationship with the Lord. It is consistently staying close to Him and reaching out for His grace to live pleasing to Him, that causes stability and true peace and joy to flow in your marriage. The reality is that if we are living a life satisfied in God, we will not be placing unrealistic expectations on our spouse. Rather, our love for Him can so fill us that we desire to bless our spouse instead of seeking blessing from them.

Mike and I have found that in our thirty-plus years of marriage ministry, every marriage problem we have seen is a “God problem.” Either one, or both, spouses are living disconnected from the Lord. Does this mean those couples that are both connected to the Lord lead perfect lives? Of course not, but they have learned, more often than not, that when their flesh begins to rise up in selfishness they must seek to remember that God has the wisdom and the grace they need to go through — grow through — the challenges they are facing. It is also true of these marriages that when they have failed to apply the grace of God to a situation, humility and repentance not only restore the relationship, but actually cause it to be strengthened.

“And He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness’” (2 Cor. 12:9).

Romance and Infatuation

I want to address something that stands in the way of some maintaining their marriage covenant. It is the often-misunderstood element of romance. I think it will be helpful for you to know some of the history of romance in order to put it into its proper perspective.

Prior to Romance Coming on the Scene — an Old Testament Example

Let’s observe the way marriage was approached for a few thousand years prior to the birth of Christ by looking at the beautiful story in Genesis 24 of how Isaac and Rebecca were joined together.

Abraham called his oldest servant, who ruled over all that Abraham had, and made him swear that he would find a bride for Isaac among Abraham’s relatives — rather than among the Canaanites in the land where Abraham and his family lived at...

Produkt-Details

• Erscheint lt. Verlag: 30.12.2024
• Sprache: englisch
• Themenwelt: Geisteswissenschaften ► Religion / Theologie ► Christentum
• ISBN-13: 979-8-3509-8952-6 / 9798350989526