Grieving Wholeheartedly (eBook)

Bringing Healing to Every Part of Your Soul

Audrey Davidheiser (Autor)

eBook Download: EPUB

2025 | 1. Auflage
208 Seiten
IVP (Verlag)
978-1-5140-1084-6 (ISBN)

Infos

Understanding Grief: Navigating the Path to Healing Discover the healing power of heartfelt grieving by reading Grieving Wholeheartedly. In life's toughest moments, our emotions can feel like a storm at sea-conflicting waves of anger, sadness, and fear crashing together. But within these turbulent waters lies the potential for profound healing. Audrey Davidheiser, a licensed psychologist with expertise in Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, will guide you through a compassionate exploration of your pain and grief. Instead of suppressing emotions, Grieving Wholeheartedly helps you understand and nurture each part of your soul, revealing the unique needs and burdens behind them. Filled with practical exercises and soul-soothing insights, you'll learn aspects of the grieving and healing process including: - Gaining a deeper understanding of Internal Family Systems (IFS) and how it applies to emotional healing. - Learning techniques to acknowledge and honor every emotion during the grieving process. - Developing skills to transform overwhelming feelings into sources of strength and wisdom. - Discovering practical exercises designed to foster emotional resilience and growth. - Embracing a holistic approach to healing that nurtures both mind and spirit. Ideal for bereaved Christians, Grieving Wholeheartedly is a companion for anyone grappling with loss, offering a pathway to hope and renewal.

Dr. Audrey Davidheiser (PhD, Fuller) is a licensed psychologist in California, certified Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapist, and IFSI-approved clinical consultant. After founding a counseling center for the Los Angeles Dream Center, she now provides IFS therapy for trauma survivors, including those with religious trauma, and assists in IFS trainings. She has been a regular writer for Crosswalk.com and columnist for iBelieve.com.

Textauszug

2
The ABCs of IFS

This has never happened before.

I was sitting in a continuing education (CE) course when the thought scrolled through my mind. As a licensed psychologist, I had to fulfill the Board of Psychology’s requirements to renew my license every two years. By then I had memorized the script surrounding the process: register; pay for the course; show up; learn something worthwhile—though probably not life-changing—to justify the money and time spent.

Carrying my tote and this expectation, I scooted into my seat as Dr. Frank Anderson introduced Internal Family Systems (IFS) to the audience. He explained the model’s basic principles before instructing participants to pair up for a five-minute exercise. I took the role of “therapist” first, practicing the rudimentary IFS skills he had just taught.

When I switched roles with my partner and became her “client,” those two and a half minutes sparked an irreversible domino effect. All my “therapist” did was read the prompts on the course handout. She followed the standard IFS protocol, nothing fancy. Yet, as she did, something percolated within me.

I sensed resentment against myself.

Later on I realized how the sentiment was a reaction from my parts, who let me know in no uncertain terms how they resented my outward focus. This is what they meant: by the time the internal incident at the CE course happened, I had practiced as a licensed psychologist for a decade; tack on another five years of providing therapy under supervision, and it pushed the number to fifteen long years of paying attention to my clients and their presenting problems—the world outside.

My parts took this to mean I was available to everyone except for them.

Sadly, they were right. No wonder they resented me!

That unforgettable experience launched my IFS journey. Those 150 seconds so moved me that I snapped up any opportunity to attend more IFS trainings. After hearing Dr. Richard Schwartz present in a two-day workshop, I signed up for all three levels of formal IFS training, worked with my own IFS therapist, became certified in the model, and earned official approval by the IFS Institute as a consultant.

I learned to befriend my internal world.

DR. RICHARD SCHWARTZ

Dr. Schwartz—or Dick, as he is fondly known in the IFS world—stumbled on the Internal Family Systems model in the 1980s, while working as a family therapist trained in the prevailing family systems theories of the day.1 Despite his status as the founder of a major therapy approach, Dick comes across as humble and accessible. In the last IFS training I attended, for instance, Dick engaged with long lines of IFS aficionados in between workshop sessions. He indulged participants who sought his autograph, picture, or clinical wisdom—sometimes all three. Dick’s relatability is truly refreshing.

But back to the early days of IFS. As Dick listened to his clients, he discovered a curious phenomenon: they seemed to have a natural ability to relate to the parts that made up their internal systems. The more Dick swapped his preconceived notions about psychology for his clients’ descriptions of their inner worlds, the more he learned about the fascinating ways in which the soul operates.

Today, IFS is not only one of the fastest growing therapy approaches in the world,2 it is also rated as evidence-based. A growing body of research is supporting its efficacy in treating mental illness—which includes PTSD,3 phobia, panic, GAD, and depressive symptoms.4

You are invited to embark on the same internal journey Dick embraced decades ago.

PARTS AND SELF

Consider all the skills required to read a book cover to cover. At minimum, the alphabet. Mastering these letters has to happen before a child can learn to decipher the meaning of words, phrases, idioms, and eventually, whole books. Nobody can appreciate Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice without sinking thousands of hours into many simpler proses first. If we compare an IFS session to reading a book, starting with the ABCs of the theory is mandatory. That would be the existence of parts and Self (intentionally capitalized).

Parts. These members of our soul—also known as “subpersonalities”—have their own reactions to our experience. Their presence explains why we can sprout a variety of responses to the same topic. For instance, a part of you may nod along as you read on, another part might exude skepticism, and yet another part may be ruminating about something else altogether.

Having multiple parts within our soul is not pathological. Multiplicity is a trait every person possesses. If the idea of having subpersonalities feels unnerving, however, you are welcome to view it differently—like considering “parts” as different “aspects” of yourself. For instance, consider how the version of you who strives for promotion at work is different than the playful one who tickles your kids, who is also different than the snappy one who shows up when an irresponsible driver cuts you off on the freeway.

You can also think of parts as metaphorical. Or you can consider parts to be a creative or imaginative way to describe your inner system, similar to Riley’s different emotions in Inside Out.

Parts can manifest visually—not because you are hallucinating, but because you see them in your mind’s eye. Some people see their parts as shapes, like a blob, stick figure, or small ball. Others see their parts as different colors (like Inside Out’s Sadness being blue and Anger being red.)

Regardless of how you conceptualize parts, learning about them will benefit you. That’s because your parts are, well, a part of who you are. Getting to know these key players in your inner world will enlighten you on how your internal system operates. A simple way to start is by tuning into your mind; if you eavesdrop on your own stream of consciousness, what do you “hear” there?

For instance, if Mother’s Day is approaching and you are out shopping, your inner chatter might sound like the following: Did I turn off the stove before leaving? I sure hope so. Let’s just find a gift for Mom and skedaddle. Hey, that’s a nice blouse! Does it come in her size? Schwartz suggested, “All of us are born with many sub-minds that are constantly interacting inside of us. This is in general what we call thinking, because the parts are talking to each other and to you constantly about things you have to do or debating the best course of action, and so on.”5 The next time you have a thought, therefore, pause. Ask inside, Which part said that?

Martha Sweezy, another senior IFS trainer, defines the psyche (that is, our soul) as “a meeting place for the many opinions and perspectives of their parts.”6 By befriending your inner system, you will develop the ability to detect whether you are hearing from one part or more.

Frank Anderson—the instructor of my life-changing CE course—explained in his book Transcending Trauma how parts can utilize our body to communicate.7 The next time you feel physical sensations (rapid breathing, clammy hands, tense shoulders, tingling sensations, and so on), focus on that sensation and be curious. Ask inside: Is a part trying to tell me something through this sensation? If so, may we please convert this conversation into English (or another language you are fluent in)?

Parts can also appear in the form of feelings, such as loneliness, longing, or jealousy; beliefs can come from a part; the same goes with memory. And what about dreams? Scripture says dreams can come from God (see Genesis 37:5-11; Genesis 41:1-36; Daniel 7; Matthew 1:18-24; 2:13-23; Acts 2:17). Since God never changes (Hebrews 13:8), we can still expect him to fill our sleep with messages from above. But dreams can also be the product of our own soul (Ecclesiastes 5:3). Soul-level dreams happen when parts direct the screenplay. Because they are content creators, parts can infiltrate the night seasons with messages for us, as well as their fears and wishes. For the bereaved, dreaming about the one we lost is typical.8

Table 2.1. Common Terms in IFS

IFS Term

Definition

Example

Blending/blended

The phenomenon when a part merges its perspective, emotion, beliefs, and impulses with us, causing us to feel, think, and behave the way it does.9

If an angry part is blended with you, you will feel anger at your spouse for dying and leaving you alone.

...

Unblending/unblended

The condition when a part agrees to create internal space for us, allowing us to feel our own feelings.

Produkt-Details

• Erscheint lt. Verlag: 15.7.2025
• Verlagsort: Lisle
• Sprache: englisch
• Themenwelt: Religion / Theologie ► Christentum ► Kirchengeschichte
• Themenwelt: Religion / Theologie ► Christentum ► Moraltheologie / Sozialethik
• Schlagworte: Belief • Bereavement • Chaplain • Christian • Church • Counseling • Death • Despair • Dying • Emotions • Faith • Family • fear • Grief • Guilt • heart • Hope • hurt • IFS • Internal • journey • Loss • Pain • Pastor • Protect • Religious • resource • sadness • Survivor • Systems • therapy • Trauma • vulnerability
• ISBN-10: 1-5140-1084-4 / 1514010844
• ISBN-13: 978-1-5140-1084-6 / 9781514010846