Sex Power Money (eBook)

Sara Pascoe (Autor)

eBook Download: EPUB

2019 | 1. Auflage
336 Seiten
Faber & Faber (Verlag)
978-0-571-33601-2 (ISBN)

Infos

** THE SUNDAY TIMES TOP 5 BESTSELLER ** ** FEATURED ON BBC ARTS' BETWEEN THE COVERS ** Award-winning comedian Sara Pascoe turns her attention to the things that really matter to humans - sex, power and money. 'A genuinely hilarious explanation of the science of sex' FRANKIE BOYLE 'I've never read a book so fast and laughed so loudly while learning so much. Pascoe is a sage for our times.' DEBORAH FRANCES-WHITE, The Guilty Feminist Following her hit book Animal, Sara Pascoe decides to confront her fear of the male libido, and turns her attention to the things that really matter to humans, delving into such questions as: Why don't people care about the welfare of the people they masturbate to? and Why is there such stigma around those who work in the sex industry? when Some women still want men to buy them dinner? In this comedic and educational hopscotch over anatomy, the history of sexual representation and the sticky way all human interactions are underwritten by wealth, Pascoe explores whether we'll ever be able to escape the Conundrum of Heterosexuality. Drawing on anecdotal experience, unqualified opinion, interviews and original research, Sex Power Money is thought-provoking and riotously funny: a fresh take on the oldest discussion. 'Important, timely, poignant, mind-blowing and VERY FUNNY. Written with kindness, bravery and ridiculous attention to detail, it will make you feel cleverer without all the usual effort.' AISLING BEA **SUBSCRIBE TO THE AWARD-WINNING SEX POWER MONEY PODCAST**

Sara is a multi award-winning comedian, writer and actor. In addition to filming her BBC stand up special, LadsLadsLads, she wrote and starred in her own sitcom Out Of Her Mind (BBC2) and is the celebrated host of The Great British Sewing Bee (BBC2), Last Woman On Earth (BBC2), Comedians Giving Lectures (Dave) and Guessable (Comedy Central). Sara wrote and starred in the BBC Radio 4 series Modern Monkey and the BBC2 short Sara Pascoe vs Monogamy - which was inspired by her first book, Animal. Her second book, Sex Power Money was a Sunday Times bestseller, and the accompanying podcast has garnered millions of listens and multiple award nominations. @sarapascoe sarapascoe.com

Autor

lt;p>Sara Pascoe is a highly acclaimed comedian, writer and actor. Her extensive TV credits include the BBC solo stand-up special LadsLadsLads; BBC2's Frankie Boyle's New World Order, on which she is a weekly guest contributor; and Comedians Giving Lectures on Dave, which she hosts. She wrote and performed the BBC Radio 4 series Modern Monkey and the BBC2 short Sara Pascoe vs Monogamy, which was inspired by her first book Animal.

@sarapascoe
sarapascoe.com

Rezensionen

lt;b>One of autumn's most anticipated titles - expect it to be everywhere.

Important, timely, poignant, mind-blowing and VERY FUNNY. Written with kindness, bravery and ridiculous attention to detail, it will make you feel cleverer without all the usual effort.

An important, timely, very funny, poignant and mind-blowing book, written with kindness, bravery and ridiculous attention to detail which you only notice at the end because of the brilliant jokes. It will make you feel cleverer without all the usual effort.

A genuinely hilarious explanation of the science of sex.

I've never read a book so fast and laughed so loudly while learning so much. Sara Pascoe is a sage for our times. Lucky for us, she is throbbing with talent and makes her insights wickedly entertaining.

One of autumn's most anticipated titles - expect it to be everywhere.

Textauszug

Heart of Darkness

My mum has a new boyfriend. He’s called Geoff. I’m listening as he explains: ‘I didn’t have to pay because I made her orgasm.’ I’m nine.

Geoff looks at me and then at my mother. I don’t know which of us he’s trying to impress but he’s proud.

Geoff is using the word ‘prostitute’ in the easy way people did back then. If you say ‘prostitute’ now someone in the vicinity will be quick to correct you. They’ll explain how the term reduces a sex worker’s humanity and encourages stigma. Geoff didn’t know that and nor did I.

‘She said she doesn’t usually cum with customers, but because I made her cum, she couldn’t accept any money off me.’

My mum had told me previously, in a private conversation, that Geoff had quite a small penis. And if you’re wondering how that’s relevant, ditto, mate, ditto.

After Geoff had gone home the next day, Mum explained to me that prostitutes never orgasmed with their clients, they just pretended because of the fragile male ego. She told me that there was no way a prostitute wouldn’t charge because they were excellent businesswomen and this was their livelihood.

I apologise that my mum is saying ‘prostitute’ as well. She’s in the past when people didn’t think about what they were saying. She would absolutely say ‘sex worker’ nowadays. But sometimes ‘sex worker’ isn’t the correct language either. If a person has been trafficked, if they are a child, if they are unable to give consent – they ain’t working. We have to be careful with language because it creates the world. I recently heard a true crime podcast describe a woman being kidnapped and ‘forced into sex work’. I’m sure you’re aware that you can’t be ‘forced’ to ‘work’ – that is slavery, and when sex is involved, that’s rape.

I’ve been asked to keep the introduction ‘light’ so *shruggy winky emoji*.

Twenty-eight years later, I heard a comedian talking about PunterNet. ‘It’s TripAdvisor for prostitutes,’ she joked, then missed her bus home thanks to the queue waiting to tell her: ‘We call them sex workers now.’ I went on PunterNet when I got home. It was mostly men discussing the parking restrictions around sex workers’ houses. These men are breaking the law by paying for sex, but they’re only worried about traffic wardens.

PunterNet’s main page is basic and white like your dad with blue and black writing. There are no images. I felt safe to browse. There are reviews and message threads. I read a man’s complaint about a woman’s body odour and wanted to correct his spelling mistakes. I read a review that bemoaned that a woman ‘didn’t smile enough’. I thought this was funny. Men sometimes tell women to smile in the street or in a shop queue. Being told to smile has never made anyone want to. Do the men who say it know how much it pisses women off, is that why they do it?

I know it’s not ‘all men’ who do this, but it only takes a few busy men to mean it happens on a daily/weekly basis to ‘all women’.

Men don’t tell other men to smile, they’d get punched. Telling another man to smile would insult his status, it would suggest that he’s there to please you. That he’s decorative. Telling a woman to smile does the same thing, but men aren’t scared of women’s punches.

HANG ON—

YES, sorry – women can be aggressors. YES, some women hit men. This is not a book about how women are always victims and men are always perpetrators.

When I was sixteen my mum had a different boyfriend. It was a complicated situation, he was married. Judge if you must; I certainly did. He would turn up at my house covered in what his wife had thrown at him, his shirts stained with food or smeared with condiments. The marks of her fingers on his face and neck. My mum would be kind to him, which disgusted me, obviously. His wife was a policewoman. She tracked his car. She broke into our house. She dragged him out of bed and beat him in front of my mum and sister. The people who are brutal and scary are created by more than biology.

So what I should’ve said above is: men aren’t automatically scared of women’s punches.

The result of evolution is that women in general are on average smaller and weaker than men, but it feels very sexist to say it. Like I’m criticising my own gender. Like I’m ignoring all the big strong women in the world and all the tiny men. No ‘rule’ about men and women is actually a ‘rule’. It also sounds transphobic, or if not ‘phobic’ then at least trans-ignorant. Discussing sex and biology means stamping with large, insensitive boots over the fragile flower that is individual human experience. There will be a lot of caveats in this book. And one tiny bloke.

Me?

Yup.

Going back to Mr Complaints on PunterNet, he’s whinging, ‘She didn’t smile at me once,’ and I think he’s pathetic. He knows this woman does not want to have sex with him. He knows that for absolute definite because he is having to PAY HER to do it. This could not be clearer. He knows this woman doesn’t want to have sex with him and yet he expects her to look cheerful about it? I am laughing nastily to myself, thinking, ‘You can pay her to have sex with you, but you can’t pay her not to hate you.’ Do these men live in a fantasy world where they’re Richard Gere in Pretty Woman? Have they tricked themselves into believing that despite being paying customers they deserve to be desired?

I tried to relate this to my life. Sex work is so called by people who recognise it as a form of labour like any other. ‘Sex work is work is work,’ activists and allies repeat and reiterate. It was Gertrude Stein who wrote ‘Rose is a rose is a rose’ but it was easier for her because no one disagreed and criminalised roses, making their already difficult life harder. The parallel I found is that I go for massages. A form of physical labour, provided by a stranger’s body. I pay people to touch me. It’s weird for me to assess it like that. I think about the interactions I have with professionals I pay to touch me; they ask me what I want from the experience, they speak softly and treat me considerately. How would I respond if they did not follow this code of conduct? If they shouted, if they put loud rap music on instead of goaty panpipes? But I realise that while I understand consumer complaints, I cannot allow them from people paying for sex. I cannot correlate those things. In fact I worry that ‘sex work is work’ has made the people who buy sex feel even more entitled.

As hard as I try to understand the punters’ point of view, they remain psychopaths to me. Unempathetic, selfish. They’re all Geoffs, stupid, self-satisfying Geoffs. Have a wank, I think. Stop wanking in other people. This is a problem. I’m trying to write a book about how evolution moulded human sexuality – my starting point can’t be ‘male sexuality is essentially abusive’ or ‘straight men should all be in prison’, although they are both things I have said when drunk. Researching this book, I’ve realised I am deeply prejudiced. Writing this book, I am attempting to confront that.

In my naivety, I have always wondered how anybody could be aroused by having sex with someone who didn’t fancy them. All the sex I have had in my life AND I’VE DONE IT LOADS I’ve needed the other person to want to have sex with me. If you said, ‘Sara, look over there, it’s Idris Elba. He doesn’t want to have sex with you. He thinks you are gross and smelly, but he will have sex with you if you pay him £80,’ I wouldn’t do it. Being desired is unequivocally connected to my arousal. The bad sex I’ve had, usually it’s because I’ve felt the person didn’t like me.

When I began researching this book three years ago, I didn’t understand that some men become aroused because the other person doesn’t want to have sex with them. There are delusional Geoffs who believe they’re truly desired even in a transactional sex situation and there are also cruel Geoffs. Pain, discomfort or unwillingness turns them on. It makes them feel powerful.

The next post I read on PunterNet was titled ‘WARNING: TRAFFICKED’. It detailed a location, described a woman. Approximate age, assumed race. ‘Give this one a miss.’ The language was blokey and informal. The man believed the woman was not there willingly. ‘She could not speak English’ – matter of fact, not a complaint – ‘she cried throughout.’ I reread the sentence hoping I had misunderstood.

‘Throughout’.

He had done it. Finished. A weeping woman who couldn’t speak his language....

Produkt-Details

• Erscheint lt. Verlag: 27.8.2019
• Verlagsort: London
• Sprache: englisch
• Themenwelt: Literatur ► Comic / Humor / Manga ► Humor / Satire
• Themenwelt: Kunst / Musik / Theater ► Theater / Ballett
• Themenwelt: Sachbuch/Ratgeber ► Gesundheit / Leben / Psychologie ► Partnerschaft / Sexualität
• Themenwelt: Geisteswissenschaften ► Psychologie ► Sexualität / Partnerschaft
• Themenwelt: Sozialwissenschaften ► Politik / Verwaltung ► Politische Theorie
• Themenwelt: Sozialwissenschaften ► Soziologie ► Gender Studies
• Schlagworte: animal • Caitlin Moran • comedians • dolly alderton • edinburgh comedians • Everything I Know About Love • Feminism • frankie boyle • Ghosts • How Do We Know We're Doing it Right? • how not to be a boy • ladsladslads • Laura Bates • Pandora Sykes • robert webb • sara pascoe
• ISBN-10: 0-571-33601-9 / 0571336019
• ISBN-13: 978-0-571-33601-2 / 9780571336012